tellyjelly

Big Brother and the Cheerleaders

I didn't think it would be possible to witness a programme that reminds me of Grease and The Office at the same time, but yet again Big Brother has proven me wrong (unfortunately I still remember liking Luke when he first appeared, and cringe about thinking Darnell was insightful).

I'm referring to the cheerleading session led by Sara and the playlet they inflicted on us before the singing began. Rex and Darnell are the main criminals for inflicting this piece of embarrassment, but Sara and Mo went along with it and are just as accountable for their actions. While we're on the subject of cheerleading and embarrassing situations, how pleased did Kat look at the thought of supporting Lisa? And what about their reaction to Mikey's idea that they should say Sara has been evicted. But best of all was Darnell's original use of the pom pom - he's always been worried about how the public will react to him in the street, and I'm sorry to say Rex could be right in that this will never be forgotten.

Big Brother: Lisa has been evicted

Sally Morgan, psychic to the stars, should be hanging her head in shame after convincing us all that Lisa would win. Lisa's eviction was a close run thing though, according to Davina, as at one point it looked like it could be a draw between her and Sara. I've been reliably informed that it took just one vote, from a house in Lincolnshire, to tip the scales and allow Sara to stay in for one more week of harassment.

Aah, just one week left and then we'll all be free to watch other programmes apart from Big Brother, Big Brother Live, Big Brother's Big  Mouth, Big Brother's Little Brother etc. Apparently the Olympics has been and gone, but we've still got time to catch up with the fall out from the deaths of Jase and Wellard in Eastenders.

Big Brother: Lisa and Sara nominated

The other day on Big Brother's Big Mouth, Sally Morgan predicted Sara would be evicted this week. This was no great shakes perhaps as she was a definite one to be nominated given the current alliances, but watch out because Sally also reckons Lisa will win (and Nicole is the most likely to marry a celebrity - not Rex).

After the traumas of this past week it was good to see Lisa and Sara split £50,000, even if it means one of them is going on Friday after the public nomination process on last night's show. In fact, it was smiles all round as Rachel publicly voted for Rex, and who would have thought it, and Rex looked pleased despite this because the Las Vegas task undoubtedly brought back happy memories for him.

Big Brother Latest: Sara under the spotlight

Listening to Darnell and Rex talk about what it must feel like to be the winner of Big Brother, I couldn't help thinking (or should that be hoping?) that this is as close as they will get. I also couldn't help thinking thank God the show is nearly over as Sara became the latest one to be bullied into submission.

If a woman is too quiet in the house, she is accused of fence sitting. If she is too loud, she is told off for playing up to the cameras. If she flirts, she is a slut. It's not that I expected Rex and Darnell to have read The Second Sex or The Female Eunuch or 'Cosmopolitan' before coming on the show, but what about 'Take A Break'?. It's difficult to believe of such urbane characters, but it seems as though they hate women.

Big Brother: Lisa's Engaged

Mario's proposal to Lisa was typically flamboyant, and public, as he impersonated Bob Dylan to win his woman round. It wasn't entirely clear if she had accepted, but this didn't get in the way of true love. As the other housemates said, their gifts from Big Brother could never match what had happened to her. This could explain why Darnell had a tantrum and threw his MP3 player to the ground; jealousy is such a negative emotion, especially if he was wishing that Mario proposed to him instead of Lisa. This scenario is highly unlikely, but don't forget his many ups and downs since Mario left - including telling Rachel to shut the f**k up a few weeks ago.

Big Brother's Brother Rex

Rex, the most unlikely shop steward ever and one that could only be considered as brotherly in your wildest dreams, led his baaing housemates in a silent protest in last night's show. It was good to see Rachel stick up for herself (as when she called him 'blatantly rude' and controlling), but I doubt he values her opinion enough to consider she might be speaking sense. Elsewhere, Darnell plucked up the courage to tell Rex his problem with his leadership - after Mikey gave him a pep talk spiked with Rex hatred - and called him the puppet master. With these cracks showing, I still can't help wondering that the Ginger One will escape nomination this week because of misplaced loyalty and/or fear of  the breakdown of his fragile ego.

Big Brother: Duck Kat!

Kat was in the firing line of Darnell’s paranoia, Rex’s bullishness and Nicole’s misplaced sensitivity.  Darnell’s immature attitude to Kat ‘choosing’ to sit next to Sarah, once more showed just how easily twisting things to his own world view comes to him.  If all he says is true, it’s no wonder he has relationship issues.  Without meaning any offence to him, Darnell needs to learn that not everything in the world is black or white.

 

Mo’s jail sentence probably helped him have a calmer day – which he really needed.  Unless, of course, he took all of his frustration out on the tasty caterpillars, which were never seen again after he said he would be playing with them.  With Mo’s previous track record, playing with his food was not a great surprise.  Mmmm, more green slimy snacks.

 

So what was Rex thinking when he was so tenderly cradling Nicole’s abandoned clothes?

 

Will I get booed?

Will I have a girlfriend when I get out?

Will I have a chance of winning now I know that I’m connected to the most booed person?

How will I be perceived, having said that it was funny that Nicole got booed?

 

One thing’s for sure, as proven over and over again, there’s little chance he would be thinking ‘How does Nicole feel?’.

 

tellyjelly is probably missing Darnell’s philosophical musings about life, the universe and everything (well relationships and burgers anyway)

Big Brother: Nicole..Tata

94% of the public…yes 94% of them, that’s the proportion of the viewing population who would have voted to evict Davina’s weirdest outfit yet if they had got the chance.  I’m really not sure what look she was going for, but whatever it was it didn’t work – painting smock black maybe?

 

Oh and Nicole got evicted – what a surprise.  With the highest percentage of votes ever cast against a housemate (94%!) she will probably need to take heed of all of the motherly advice that Davina can give her, having told her over and over again that she had a lot to learn and that it was probably her behaviour towards Mikey which sealed her fate – behaviour which Nicole didn’t seem to even recognise.

 

As predicted, Mo continued his explosive descent and to consolidate the validity of his nickname, squirreled cider away, leading to the inevitable confrontation with Rex and Nicole.  In the midst of which, housemates didn’t even get to see the ecstatic Darnell’s hamburger greed, as also animal-like he scurried off to a den to sweet talk his prey into submission, relishing every passionate moment.

 

If the crowd’s reaction is anything to go by, man-hopping Sarah will probably be there in the final.  That won’t please Darnell and co., whose character assassinating discussion will be difficult for Sarah to watch when she comes out.  Her reaction to Darnell’s attitude to her seemed genuine, as did Darnell’s head in the sand approach to avoiding the real problem he has, dealing with his perceived rejection.

 

Questions Mario may ask Lisa on Sunday

How does the washing machine work?

Do you mind if I start dating Steph?

Using your amazing supernatural powers – what question am I going to ask you next?

Which is the most deadly - a bee, a wasp or a thermonuclear device?

What do you do with the 10% of your waking hours when you are not doing your make-up?

Tellyjelly’s cheers could be heard on the moon

 

 

Big Brother: Shocker!

A truly terrifying Big Brother episode last night, full of smiles and expressions of happiness – whilst Kat was almost at her lowest, having been jailed yet again for talking about nominations.

 

It seems that the Thriller task was a winner with the housemates, although for viewers it once again gave proof that this really is the Rex and Nicole show now – as the editing showed us very very little of Nicole’s backing dancers.  Yes I know, as one of the housemates said (probably Rex in defensive mode), the original video would have focused on Michael Jackson, but surely BB’s camera(presumably)men or editors could have shown us the out-of-time, unsynchronised, but effort-full moves of the others.

 

Although at times he is right to complain, Mo’s fuse is unfortunately now stuck at the length of an ant’s leg and with both Rex and Darnell able to light it with next to no effort or thought, it may be a tough run over the next week for Mo.

 

Further shocking revelations of course from Lisa, who thought she was so good at being a zombie that she may have been one in a past life – shouldn’t that be a past death Lisa?

 

Will it be bye bye Nicole on Friday?  That seems as certain as Rex not following her up the stairs.  I can’t help but wonder how much ground Rex would make up, with both Nicole and the public, if he did follow her out – now that would be shocking!

 

tellyjelly has probably voted the buttons bare

Big Brother: Dawn of the Dead

Awoken to the strains of Michael Jackson’s foray into the world of the horror, housemates proved a point which has been staring us all in the face for weeks – yes, they are zombies, under the demonic control of that evil necromancer Big Brother.  None more so than scary Lisa, whose uncanny undead dancing went perfectly with her blank stare and chilling laugh.  Thrilling!

 

As for the task, under the caring and thoughtful guidance of Rex it was a guaranteed success and with Mo, ‘the best dancer’ in the house, putting in so much effort, how could the lost souls possibly lose?  Of course, it’s not a problem if they do – zombies have no need of a luxury shopping budget, they only eat brains – ah that may be a problem, since there’s few of those evident in the house and the prize one has already been eaten.  On that matter, did they ever get the Wizard of Oz connection?

 

After the nominations were announced, can you imagine what Nicole and Rex would be like if they didn’t have the task to do and the effort of being insensitive to Mikey’s needs to keep them busy?

 

tellyjelly is getting some culture

Big Brother Nominations: Lisa, Nicole and Sara

The Cookie Love mafia keep their stranglehold on the final weeks secure with this round of nominations and it looks a cert that Nicole will be separated from Rex for at least a week. I thought she might have avoided eviction by virtue of being his Girlfriend - that is, that his pals would avoid voting for her - but good old Darnell, Rachel and Mo didn't let the country's population down. Speaking of Mo, can't help wondering what else he has in store for us after eating Mikey's bogie. Perhaps he's accepted a top secret mission to make us all vomit in unison.

Big Brother: Rex and Nicole again

We've all heard of the saying 'fiddling while Rome's burning' - well Rex has taken this to a new level: playing musical chairs while your beloved is crying in the diary room. Last night's show evoked many emotions including more sympathy for Nicole at the end when she couldn't find her ginger paramour. We should also remember that she doesn't have a game plan (for some reason this is seen as a good thing in BB circles) as despite having seen the show and knowing what the viewers think etc, she does and says what ever she feels like doing and saying. She refuses to be restricted by populist sentiment - or, she hasn't really got the hang of it. Saying all that, with a bit of luck she should be up for nomination and eviction this week.

Lisa's Tip of the Day: avoid touching velvet with wrinkly fingers. It feels horrible.

Big Brother's New Head of House: Rex

So Rex the Ginger One with Many Restaurants is the new head of house and is safe from nominations with his (very long) week of immunity - unless he breaks the rules and is deposed like poor Stuart. Is it possible that the viewers could be that lucky?

Nicole continues to be upset, bored, miserable and is often mean to the other housemates, and it turns out she is worried about being booed. I don't blame her really, but I think she should be more worried about her long term future and what the grandchildren might say about their stint on BB9 in 30 years time. Yes, I'm afraid it looks like these two will be together for ever, forever tormenting each other.

Eastenders: Farewell to Wellard

It's black armband time again now that Wellard has been sent to the big doggie heaven in the sky. Not since Batley came a cropper in Emmerdale have script writers tried to make so many so miserable for the sake of entertainment. Eastenders never is that funny, light, or enjoyable come to that, but last night's episode reached new heights in manipulating the viewers into shedding tears. If he hadn't been through enough being passed around like a parcel, and when he finally gets settled in a new home this has to happen ... 

Big Brother: Stuart Has Been Evicted

When Stuart left the house last night, with 59% of the vote, he proved to be more of a Tom Daley and even less of a Michael Phelps as he stage dived into the crowd. Unfortunately for him, the gathered masses were smart enough to move out of the way at the sight of a six foot something careering towards them. He looked a bit shook up when Davina retrieved him but tried to make out it didn't hurt too much, and I think he should be rewarded for this bravery by being sent immediately back in.

Big Brother and the Thirty Pieces of Cake

Mo has been trying to fight the 'Greedy Mo' tag given to him by Rex and some of the others, but it looks like it's going to be there for life now. This isn't because of how much he eats and drinks, which is probably the same as the others, but because of his reaction to Rachel's decision to award Hell the win over the cake-building task.

He let it slip that this was why some (including himself) may have nominated her and it just had to be one that involved food. If it had been constructing a monument out of matches, his reasoning might have been praised - but because it is cake, it looks like he's signed his way out for out next week.

Other news: Nicole was encouraging Rex to become the next Mario last night as she persuaded him to wear and use an exfoliating glove. I wonder if she has been misunderstanding what has been happening and doesn't realise that emulating Mario is probably a bad move considering he got evicted weeks ago.

Big Brother and Learning Something New Every Day

The detractors of Big Brother say it's rubbish, it's for voyeurs only, it's mind-numbing etc. All of these things may be true, but such Philistines don't realise how much we can learn from just one show.

Last night I learned the following in just one hour:

1. I should go to the gym more often as Kat is healthier than me.

2. Gold tracksuits can be quite fetching.

3. Michael Phelps will never be threatened by Stuart's pool prowess.

4. Nicole has started to resemble Margaret Thatcher.

5. Rex has issues with women, and most men.

6. Points 4 and 5 may be connected.

7. Mikey has spent the last two months with his fingers in his ears; he's getting his own back now with the help of the megaphone.

8. It must be difficult carrying a flag in the pouring rain.

9. Mohamed and Lisa like drinking cider.

10. Darnell isn't as perceptive as I thought he was - he didn't see Rachel would be up for eviction.

Big Brother Nominations: Rachel v Stuart

RACHEL AND STUART ARE UP FOR EVICTION, RACHEL AND STUART. Ok, I'll stop shouting now and try to think of pleasant things .... No, I still can't believe it. The ONLY good thing about this is that bad things come to those who wait, or something like that. And did you hear Rex's Girlfriend's reasons for her nominations?

On the lighter side, Mikey's reign of terror looks like it could send the most mild mannered of housemates into a frenzy of anger, so long may it continue. With that shaved head he really looks the part as well.

Big Brother's Mikey and the Order of the Clockwork Orange

As the new House President, Mikey is going above and beyond the requirements as he shouts at the others as well as throwing water at them. This is ok when it comes to Rex and his Girlfriend, but surely tired Mo doesn't deserve such punishment. Don't forget he had to traipse about in strappy sandals last week and is probably still recovering.

With the shaved head, Mikey is becoming a bit more intimidating still and I think Big Brother really should have let him be the hairdresser in last night's show instead of Lisa, in the name of equal opportunities. He would have sorted them out (for National Service).

Coronation Street: What has happened to Ken?

If the guy working down the chip shop really is Elvis, then I'm pretty sure Ernest Hemingway has been striding the cobbles of Weatherfield for the past week. Ken Barlow's sudden transition into the angst-ridden author has been a welcome if unlikely sight, particularly as Blanche gets even better lines than usual and he isn't just wiping tables as a foil for Roy.

It looks like this might be over now though as last night he realised his own mediocrity. There was no surer sign of this than when he put his whiskey in his pocket before he took Eccles for a walk. A man of his talents shouldn't have to stoop as low as Eccles, surely Schmeichel would have been more fitting.

Big Brother's Rachel

For several weeks, Rachel has been one of the whipping boys as the wannabe alpha males accused her of sitting on the fence. They also said she never expressed her opinions. If we remember, she has done this most notably when Dale and Stuart pushed her to say what she thought of them. She told the truth (that she thought they loved themselves too much) and this almost drove Stuart to tears.

Last night, she dared to let the crap cake win and again her opinion was seen as wrong a) because Rex is a chef and must be the winner b) because Hell's didn't look like the Dome, but probably tasted like it c) because she didn't say what the dominant ones wanted her to say. Like Saul on the road to Damascus, it seems she has seen the light with regard to Rex, though, as she later said he isn't that friendly really. Perhaps she can do the right thing again and put him and his Girlfriend up for nomination with the hope that even Nicole is more popular than he is.

Big Brother's Sara: Living the fairy tale

Although Stuart didn't realise, Sara was chatting him up again on last night's show and used the old but ineffective trick of pretending to be Little Red Riding Hood. Aw, Stu, what big arms you've got, what big hands ... Poor lovelorn Stuart, and he still thinks nobody cares.

Lisa goes from strength to strength, though, especially when she compared the eviction battle between Stuart and Dale to that between Will Young and Gareth Gates on the X-Factor. I don't know who would have been more insulted, but I'd take a guess at Gareth Gates. She is also adept (a.d.e.p.t. - not a.p.t.) at reading the crystal ball as was proven when she told Darnell why Sara was upside down when he looked in it.

Big Brother: Dale has been evicted

Dale's eviction wasn't that much of a shock and nor was his post-house interview with Davina. Surprise, surprise Jen was waiting for him in the wings and they were reunited - and no doubt they will be appearing together in and on every media outlet for the next week or so.

Meanwhile, Rex continues to show that money can't buy you everything. It might pay the bills and buy you a strange haircut, but what about charm, charisma and generosity of spirit? Rex's Girlfriend (Nicole) looked happy for the first time this week, though, when her suitcase arrived, but I have a sinking feeling that the smile will soon be erased when the heaven and hell divide is done away with.

Big Brother's Rex and Nicole: Don't bother buying a hat

Rex let it slip last night that he thinks Nicole is making him look like an ass-hole. The ginger one has lost his sense of irony - if he ever really had one - and looks set to unravel before our very eyes. It doesn't need spelling out, but I will: he manages to look like an ass-hole all by himself. If he carries on this way, where he berates her then fawns over her then berates her etc, I'm going to have to hire a plane and fly it over with the Women's Refuge number attached.

On the other hand, they could be vying with each for Martyr of the Year. She has had to do some washing up, and he did insist on staying up late with her. Oh dear, perhaps they are well suited after all. I can't wait to see how jealous he gets, though, if she stays in the house longer than him.

Big Brother's Ratner Moment

Before last night's show, Stefano had a succesful business as a hairdresser to the rich and famous (according to Rex). But now Rex has gone and ruined it all because he told Nicole - and the viewers - who is responsible for that which is perched on his head. Most people would have presumed the ginger one had designed and cut his own hair, as he is so sure that he is multi-talented, but no, Stefano takes the blame and like Ratner before him we can now wait for the empire to crumble.

Big Brother: Dale and Stuart nominated

They have both said in the past that they want to be nominated, so now one of them has the chance to get out of jail free on Friday. Is it just me or is Dale getting slightly more interesting, and might get to stay? I wouldn't have said this was the case when he was busy telling Rachel and Maysoon that they were boring, because he bored me then. However, after hearing him ask Rachel if she thought she was Gandhi, after she had volunteered the heavenly ones to help with the washing up, it seems he is wittier than he looks.

Note to self: when I next visit Mikey for Sunday dinner at his house, I'll avoid the brussel sprouts.

Big Brother's Stuart: A walking target

Poor Stuart came in the Big Brother house looking for love, but has now given up on the idea as a bad job. If only he could lower his high standards a little, he would see that he is the object of affection for many:

• Sylvia - she loved to loll on him, even though he wanted to sleep.
• Jen - she was so desperate to prove they were soul mates, she cited their common interest in Friends as proof.
• Lisa - aiming to impress him by saying she was a backing singer for 10cc.
• Sara - joining him in bed to supposedly escape Darnell.

Big Brother's Nicole: Being Rex's girlfriend

Rex keeps asking his girlfriend, Nicole, what's wrong and she says nothing, but we know she's miffed because he can say the alphabet backwards a lot quicker than she can. He'd already agreed to try to fail the task so they could be together in Hell, but it seems he just can't help himself when it comes to being competitive. To be fair, for a change, she is also devastated about the loss of her suitcase - after one day in the house. Call me psychic if you wish, but I can already sense she might be going as soon as her immunity has run out if she keeps living up to the compliment of princess.  

Big Brother: Lisa makes a run for it

How must it feel to say goodbye to everyone and nobody but Mo notices you've left the Big Brother house? And when you come back people (well, Sara) ask why you didn't let them know. Poor Lisa, some sympathy is heading your way at last. It looks like she reached breaking point after Rex's girlfriend became the next new housemate and remember this is the one she described as common looking with a bad bleach job. 

Lisa wasn't the only who reacted strongly either; Darnell was terrified and Rex didn't recognise her. That'll serve him right for only taking photos in of himself.

Big Brother: Luke has been evicted

Last night's show just got better and better. The long-awaited Luke eviction was surpassed, though, with the clip of Mikey knowingly eating a Scotch Bonnet. In case you missed what must be one of the best clips ever from all of the Big Brother shows, this is an extremely hot chilli and not an item of clothing.

The ongoing argument about Rex's girlfriend, who was number three in the line-up and not number six as Lisa and Luke thought, looks set to come to a head as she is now the latest housemate having taken the place of Maysoon. Apparently, Nicole is to have full status, so could potentially win, and also has immunity from nominations this week.