tellyjelly

Big Brother: Hai karaoke

With the housemates trying to turn Japanese in last night's episode, it was good to see Alex stayed the same and continued berating poor Mohammed. It would have been a disappointment if she had been anything other than objectionable now we've got conditioned into hating her. It's not her fault, it's the way it's edited - at least I suppose that's what she's saying now she has been invited to leave.

What a disappointment though that we didn't even get to vote her out or go down to London and shout abuse. On the upside, Mario lives to fight another day and for those who want him to stay in (so he can look after Mikey) we can only hope Lisa will tell him that it is just plain embarrassing when he talks about his fan club base, and how wide it is.

Big Brother: Oops!

Of all the times to broadcast a part of a diary room session accidentally to the rest of the house, it had to happen when Alex was the topic of the conversation.  Considering about 80% of diary room conversations appear Alex related, that was a pretty safe bet.  Alex heard it loud and clear and what followed was pure pantomime - dames and all!  Watching Mohamad trying to unfasten the bra he was wearing whilst being berated as a bad Muslim by Alex, that paragon of Islamic values, was both disturbing and entertaining (like much of BB actually). 

The potential evictees were no surprise - but the public have a difficult choice - will it be the perfect man or the perfect woman who has to go?  I have a feeling it will be Mario - which will sadly leave Lisa, his Stepford wife, with nobody to groom.  The public may keep Alex in to see what happens when her and Mohamad eventually get it together - I think we all know who will be wearing the trousers there!

Tellyjelly is incommunicado - or some other foreign sounding place

Big Brother: Did somebody take the minutes?

There's a danger that if Alex goes this could end up being the most mature (and possibly boring) Big Brother.  Luke hit the nail on the head - board meetings will leave everyone bored and much as Rachel's word perfect response to Alex was a well crafted plea for maturity, it was - well, it was just too nice!

Dennis, who comes over as one of your standard BB squealers at times, took the high ground in calling the house meeting to discuss the behind-the-back issues and he carried many with him, rendering some speechless.  Some, but not Alex of course, who joined him up there, as ever spouting on about how everyone should act, when there is no chance of her acting like that at all.  Yes, it is broken record time - she must have managed more hypocrisy than anybody else in BB history and yet still nobody has told her so properly.  I thought for a moment Dennis would, then Sylvia, but they didn't and then Mario jumped in, but made it so specific to coming in and waking people up as a sign of lacking respect, that the whole thing got diluted.

As for the crisp task - cruel, cruel, cruel - who in their right mind eats Worcester Sauce flavoured crisps? Or bogey ones for that matter.

Did I miss the scenes of a sexual nature?  Or was it the 2am 'almost' between Mario and Lisa, so rudely, but funnily interrupted by BB.  Wouldn't it be great if they did that every time the pair got anywhere near close.

Tellyjelly isn't missing much

Big Brother: Musical differences

Nothing like a group task to bring a group together - or not.

Giving them all an instrument to learn was a good move from BB.  It was guaranteed to lead to some friction over who plays what, but in the end they all did play together.  I'm not really sure what tune they were all playing, a few different ones perhaps, but at least they did it and seemed to enjoy it as well.

Great to see the theramin making a comeback - last time I saw one of those on TV it was Bill Bailey making the widdly-widdly electronic sounds.  Mikey's sarcasm and humour over getting to play that instrument was wonderful and I can only imagine what he would have come up with if he'd been stuck with the triangle.

I thought Mario spent the first part of the show telling people how he was standing back - unless it was a food or health and safety issue.  So why did he make such a big deal (and fool of himself) with his pointless argument with Darnell - over a safe, healthy and non-food related task.  Super! 

Well done to Mohamed of course - for being straight with Rex and seeing straight through Alex.

Tellyjelly could probably hear the cacophony carried on the mistral

Big Brother: Would you join his fan club?

And so it begins...at last both Sylvia and Dennis are sharing their concern about being lumped in with Alex - now they need to keep their distance and maybe even send Alex to Coventry - although I think Rebecca would have something to say about having Alex as a new neighbour.

So Mario and Lisa have a fan club...well, Mario does, or so it felt when he was talking about it.  Lisa has perfected the impassive look and I am beginning to see why.  Mario is rapidly going to lose friends and irritate people if he continues to play the big 'I am' and the John and Yoko style bed-ins, where the pair appear to sit waiting for their subjects to visit them, are very strange indeed.

Jennifer's emotional journey towards Dale met with more than a few speed bumps, as she grappled with Alex's contention that there was a conspiracy (when the only one appears to be hers), which made mistrust of everyone Jennifer's mindset for the day.  Dale really didn't know how to deal with it and Sylvia's matchmaking was so unsubtle and poorly timed that just added to Jennifer's misery.  All was sort of well in the end, with Dale and Jennifer doing what all aspiring BB couples do - waiting until everybody else is in bed to get down to 'real' talking - but after the day they had had, they both looked simply shattered.  They should have just curled up together and gone to sleep.

Tellyjelly is off meeting a muse

Big Brother: One down....

So it is bye to Steph - a pity because she was just moving on from her post-nupiual state and by moving on, I mean moving on to Rex of course - didn't see that coming, but once it was there it was so obvious and then it was gone.

BB continued with the psycho-experimentation.  This time it was placebo alcohol.  By my reckoning the BB Moonshine they bought, 1 part alcopop - 6 parts water, must have had a miniscule alcohol content - yet it was enough to lead to bad dancing without music, extreme bathing and a right non-lovers strop for Steph and Rex - oh and Alex being relatively pleasant and funny in the diary room - powerful stuff!

Tellyjelly is heading south

Big Brother: Shocking

Shock tactics - no, not the way in which BB did the Milgram-style task with the housemates, but the further use of the ‘let me give you a hug to make you feel better’ tactic that Alex is continuing to use with some housemates, whilst jumping down the throat of others at any opportunity.  The others aren’t always helping though and Rex ‘borrowing’ her lighter right in front of her, after she had already made it very clear he couldn’t use it earlier, was either provocation, stupidity or ignorance – any of which were not good moves from him.

 

I don’t want to dwell on Alex, but it really is difficult not to.  Her consistently hypocritical approaches and maternity ward-sized chip on her shoulder are stunning to watch.  I would love to have a transcript of some of the altercations, just to be able to annotate them to show just how she behaves towards others in exactly the way she criticises them for – usually before they do anything.  Case in point – she accused Rex of acting like her father, before he said anything about her being like the ‘mother’ – then she laid into him for using the mother comment with her – how dare he!  Oh – I’d love to give Alex the transcript by the way, but I don’t think I’ll ever be ready!

 

And finally…what is going on between Dale and Jennifer?  The housemates appear to be leaving them alone together at any opportunity…or are Dale and Jennifer engineering that?

 

Tellyjelly is en vacance

Big Brother: Paranoia and Confusion

A bit of a ‘so what?’ episode tonight – like the ones you get in soaps where the storylines don’t really progress very much, but enough to make you wonder what will happen next.  We were introduced to a couple of new characters though, in the shapes of paranoid Dennis and identity crisis Jennifer (is she a cheeky girl or a weepy mum?).

Poor Dennis though – when faced with a task-winners’ picnic, he was so sure it was a further task he appeared to convince Rachel not to eat it, because it would mean less food for everybody else.  We never did really see how much they ate and BB only told us that it was OK to eat, not them.

 

As for the last moments with Kat in the diary room, the danger with her quirkiness is that if she does it too much it will become irritating and her character may crumble like the proverbial.  Her final call to BB for cookies was definitely taking the other proverbial and funny for about a second – pity it lasted about 6!

 

At least all the ‘new’ characters took some of the limelight away from Alexandra the Grate who still managed to upset a fair few housemates (who seem to be getting their own back by pinching her cigarettes).  Scariest moment had to be when she insisted on hugging Jennifer in a show of ‘us against the world’ unity.  It felt like Norman Bates making the motel guest feel comfortable, before going off to sharpen the knife ready for the shower scene.

 

Tellyjelly has checked out for now

Big Brother: Car Crash Telly

Watching last night's Big Brother was like watching a re-run of Emmerdale from earlier in the night. Andy Sugden's role was adopted by Alex as she turned herself into the mouth for domestic violence and everyone else either sat back or had a doomed attempt at defending herself. And it was herself - not him and her -  as none of the men took a stand.

The producers should be congratulating themselves for setting up some more lambs for slaughter and it looks likely there were will be at least a week of bullying before she gets voted out. This will then ensure more votes when it comes to phone in time. The only good side to this is the chance to witness yob paranoia in action if you are lucky enough to have not seen it before. You looking at me? - I'd rather not.

Big Brother Wedding

The wedding day finally arrived - after two days of waiting - and my honeymoon with Luke was almost called off when he dared to refer to Mario as 'smarmy'. I like to think this was Luke performing a double bluff, but it is probably further evidence that they are all already forgetting about the cameras. The only positive outcome for the failed task has to be that we now have the chance to evict Steph. The tricoteuses are at the ready, so get that finger busy on the redial button.

Big Brother Big Gobs

For goodness sake BB give Alex something for her throat problem!  Preferably something big enough to fill her mouth and stop us hearing her increasingly irritating voice.  Most irritating moment?  In the garden, after a rant about Mikey like he wasn’t there (and it’s him that is blind), Alex pauses long enough for Mikey to start talking and gives him a matter of seconds before she starts talking over him.  Then she does that thing that manipulative people try to do, where they shuffle around what somebody says to make it fit the hole they are trying to dig for them and hope people listen to their version (usually because it is louder) – not what was actually said.  Hopefully the others will have spotted that and most importantly Alex’s lack of respect for Mikey, who said not a word while she was speaking initially.

The moral dilemma is interesting and fascinating to see played out on the faces of the housemates.  Should Mikey’s disability excuse him from being treated like any other housemate who put the pants on.  The answer is, of course, no – but I have a sneaking suspicion that if it had been Dale who put the pants on he wouldn’t have received quite the tirade Mikey did – I wonder why?

Mikey’s biggest mistake wasn’t actually putting the pants on – it was not apologising afterwards.  Yes, it is not a ‘nice’ thing to do, but I am sure that if he had apologised, then there would have been a grudging acceptance of the alcohol fuelled stag-night humour and his apology, from ‘up one moment-down the next’ Sylvia.

Talking of whom, curious that Sylvia chose to use one of the most striking scenes from Blood Diamond as her example of the brutality in Sierra Leone.  The short sleeve-long sleeve anecdote made me wonder whether she saw that while there, heard about it, read it or watched it in the film.  She didn’t make that clear and in referencing it she will have gained some sympathy points.  Again a moral dilemma, as I hope she did have some real experience of it to be able to qualify the genuine sympathy – but really I hope she had no experience of it at all, which would mean she was using the suffering of others to gain increased security within the house through garnering sympathy – not nice.  Bring back the psychologist’s show – I need to know whether Sylvia has a problem or if it is me suffering from BB induced paranoia.  

Tellyjelly is nearly away

Big Brother and the Proposal

It couldn’t have been better if it had been scripted.  Luke, who must be the forthcoming best man, gathers everybody together for the pool proposal.  Mario is ready.  Steph will never be ready for what is to come and Lisa – well Lisa (who surely will be the bridesmaid and possibly never the bride), Lisa is busy brushing that man right out of her teeth.  Classic.

Suspicions abound, but Steph went up slightly in my estimation when she managed to keep it together during the bedroom interrogation with whatshername (or is that ‘whoareya’?) and Gary Glitter’s long lost son.  Then she went a little higher still when she told Big Brother that the boyfriend bluff was keeping the truth about Lisa and Mario hidden.  I think that is far more down to Lisa and Mario’s actions towards each other – or rather their lack of them - than what Steph is doing.

 Roll on the wedding!

Better still the wedding night, when BB whisks the happy couple off to the airport and onto the plane for their honeymoon in Barbados, all viewed live in the house – imagine Lisa’s face when that happens!

Tellyjelly is away with the fairies

Big Brother and the Forthcoming Wedding

According to the majority of the audience in Big Brother's Big Mouth, Mario isn't overly popular at the moment. I hope he doesn't let me down on this, but so far he is only following orders and trying to avoid eviction by going along with the imposed fake wedding. Ok, we've heard that excuse before and it didn't wash then. I only ask that he is given a break despite the Sly Stallone wannabe connection.

The schadenfreude potential looks set to be increasing, though, as the big day looms and it is possible to feel a little sympathy for Steph because from her point of view she will be saddled with him for a little longer. This is such a cruel trick to play on all three that are involved; thank you Big Brother.

Big Brother: First Night Nerves?

It must be summer because I can hear Davina bellowing from here 12 hours after the show has finished. Big Brother 9 and an early favourite has to be Luke who offered to be the child of the pretend couple Mario (that is, Sean) and Steph. If he really has got a sense of humour, and you never can tell in the first week so restraint is needed, I'll have a tenner on him - in theory. Also rans and early evictees will hopefully include Dale and Rebecca, but I suppose I shouldn't be too judgemental just yet.

T.V. Highlights of the Week - 6th June 2008

The story goes that only cockcroaches survive after a nuclear attack. Meanwhile, on The Apprentice poor old Lucinda has been fired for zaniness and it is pretty difficult to pick a winner for next week. We can only hope Alex will fall on his sword of treachery, but he'll more than likely win for being 24 yes 24.The only thing worse than this outcome would be for Helene to win. Even though she is as she says 'ballsy', and considers this something to be proud of, I don't think she is man enough for the job.

What a strange week of telly - we had the unasked for opportunity of finding about the woman who married the Eiffel Tower on Channel Five as well as the amnesia driven look at Mary Whitehouse in Filth. How soon they forget (the BBC that is) what a reactionary closed-minded viewer she was, but then again she used to help boost their ratings. 

Separated at Birth

This one is more about personality than looks. For services to crassness, Peter Andre and Richard Madeley will always be in a dead heat and I can't help wondering if they were originally joined at the hip then parted with surgery:

This Week on T.V. - 30th May 2008

Kiss of Death tried too hard to be innovative at the expense of clarity when it insisted on punctuating every ten minutes with back stories and flashbacks. I wonder if it was competing with the CSI franchise as it drew on all the available tricks, but it would have been better with a more relaxed style. Even Danny Dyer was watchable for once,  because he had no time to tell us how ard he is, so it was not without merit and the perp's violence against women was enough to keep most misogynists satisfied.

It was a good week for The Apprentice followers, though, as Michael Sophocles is now out, out out. Hurrah. The interview stage is next, which is always a difficult one to watch if you have a nervous disposition, and fingers crossed (and eyes closed and ears covered) in the hope Lucinda gets through.

Back to dependable Eastenders and this week's latest drug addict. I can't help but wonder that the writers think it is obligatory to have at least one person with an addiction and now it's Chelsea's turn. She has suddenly gone from miserable wretch to miserable addicted wretch in two days and I suppose this should be a warning to all of us except it is a laughable, unlikely and pretty uninteresting storyline. 

Coronation Street: PERFECTION

In last night's Coronation Street (28th May 2008), the viewers were given a reminder of the halcyon days when the tragi-comic ruled. Let me list the reasons: Chesney taking advice from Kirk; Roy's heroism; the Kabin detectives; Jerry's heart attack; Kirk missing out on marrying a lottery winner etc etc. As well as these dream scenarios, there was also the bitchfest between Janice (who apparently visits stately home tearooms) and Deirdre 'the glasses' Barlow. A full hour of the sublime and the ridiculous with Norris and Roy taking centre stage - it doesn't get much better.

Separated Before Birth

Possibly not as good as Bianca and Chewbacca, or Cadfael and Cadfael, but here's Greg from Emmerdale and his long lost twin, Liza Minnelli:

  If he was wearing mascara, you wouldn't be able to see the difference.

Good, Bad and Ugly

Good

• Tiger, tiger burning bright - Hull City v Bristol City on Sky.
• Norris grassing Claire up in Coronation Street.
• Jeremy Kyle for always saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. God bless morning telly.
• Jean in Eastenders.

Bad and Ugly

• The firing of Raef - keep those fingers crossed for Lucinda.
• Piers Morgan plugging his programme. It'd be better if he just plugged himself into the national grid and put us all out of our misery.
• No more Benidorm.

Separated at Birth

I think this is a bit cruel, comparing Bianca of Eastenders to Chewbacca, so Rich W. can take the full credit:

This Week on T.V. - 23rd May 2008

Black armbands required for the demise of Raef and his hair in The Apprentice this week. Ok, so he can't really do anything and his team lost for artistic reasons, but this means Michael still gets away with it - apparently because he reminds Sir Alan of his younger self. Perhaps Nick and Margaret should tell their boss about the perils of self-identifying with someone so repellent. 

The 1970s programme Living in the Past was re-visited in a What Happened Next BBC4 catch-up show as the couples spoke about their year long stint in the Iron Age. Described as one of the earliest reality t.v. shows, it was quite telling that these participants were chosen in the hope they would be a harmonious mix. Compared to what is going on now, this looks like an age of innocence.

Good, Bad and Ugly

Good

• Dimbleby's beating in Russia.
• Viv and Bob - master criminals in Emmerdale.
• Kirk's new girlfriend in Coronation Street (but was he always this dozy?).
• Gail's new-found dad, Ted, in Coronation Street.
• Heather and Shirley in a cell in Eastenders.

Bad and Ugly

• Beat the Star - only good if the corpse of Vernon Kaye is the weapon.
• Still no soaps on Sunday night.
• Stereotypes are us in Eastenders with the Masood visitors.

This Week on T.V. - 16th May 2008

If Waking the Dead has taught us anything, we now know not to join a pub quiz team as it can lead to strange initiation ceremonies in a wood, and murder. Personally speaking, it has only ever meant being compared to Peter Barlow, but that's another story and I'm not bitter about that any more.

The Artful Codgers by the Cutting Edge team was a sad documentary about the Greenhalgh family and ended with the news that the brilliant Sean Greenhalgh is in prison for playing his part in conning the art world. The programme was played mainly for laughs as the family's joint enterprise showed the art world up as pompous to say the least and I suppose it is heart warming to think of the dealers thinking they have conned 'Farmer George' (Sean's father) when it was always the other way around. Wouldn't it be good to hope that when Sean comes out of prison he will be recognised as an artist in his own right, and be respected for his talent? By the same token, it would also be good to hope Father Christmas really does exist and money does grow on trees.

Good, Bad and Ugly

Good

• Ben's tap dancing and possible future career in musical theatre.
• The bitchiness of Claire and Sally in Coronation Street. More please.
• Margi Clarke as Gavin's mother in Benidorm.

Bad and Ugly

• Enough of the Coronation Street black-haired gang - also known as the Connors.
• The thick pills that have been given to Mickey, Jase, Bradley and Arnold in Eastenders.

This Week on T.V. - 9th May 2008

Ooh la la, The Apprentice on Wednesday has to have been the funniest and most cringe-making of the series so far with the downfall of the Jennifers and the obvious lack of kosher knowledge. For those of us who stick to 100% as the best, rather than the much quoted 110% or the extravagantly ambitious 150%, the candidates, who are all in a little business world of their own, give us mortals a chance to feel superior. Thank you.

Eastenders again and the scriptwriters really should remember their audience has an attention span longer than they do. Jase and Mickey have both separately had a confrontation with Sean - following so far? - they clean Mrs Masood's car, and before they receive the payment the car is dirty again. As Mickey helpfully pointed out, someone has done this on purpose.If this is supposed to be the best soap, I want a recount.

 

This Week on T.V. - 3rd May 2008

Paranoid, hateful and full of self-loathing - anyway, enough about me because Peep Show is back. The boys have returned to the flat after Mark's disastrous wedding and it's no surprise that the selfless one is ready to date again. His new found machismo was a shock, though, when he apprehended and locked up the burglar on the balcony and hope the same amoral decision that led to the burning and eating of a pet dog will surface again.

I  wonder if Eastenders has been pulling out all the stops in time for the British Soap Awards. Ben's tap dancing and Stacie's mum cooking a cocaine surprise have given the shattered viewers a few moments of light relief, but Ben really needs to overcome his embarrassment, and should learn to do more than the beginning and end, if he is aiming for the big time.

Just Bad and Ugly

• I'd do anything except watch I'd Do Anything.
• Talent shows without Tony Hatch or Mickey Most.
• Coronation Street might be back on a Sunday night, but what about Emmerdale?
• Come Dine With Me squashed into just one hour.
• Rosemary and Thyme Christmas special.
• Green greeting cards.

This Week on T.V. - 25th April 2008

The Diets That Time Forgot reached its climax this week in the final (sixth) episode. It managed to be quite moving despite the ongoing pantomime of the participants dressing according to the era of their designated diet. Sir Roy Strong came out unscathed, despite it being a dead cert that he would be by week two for his services to patronising. The favourite clips of the series have to be when Dave was chased by a ram, when Dave ran a 7 minute mile, and when Dave tried to resist temptation.

Eastenders was pleasant and warm for five minutes on Thursday (24th April) when Heather and Minty were finally married. I suppose it wouldn't have been the same programme if our emotions hadn't been mangled for the rest of the time and it looks like this will continue with the prospect of Gus becoming Sean's gimp. Poor Gus. If only Sean could have chosen someone who deserved it, such as Bianca or Ricky.

The viewing public had at least some form of justice in The Apprentice when Lindi got the boot, but even this was a bit of a disappointment as Jen the self-styled Ice Queen should have been made accountable for her exclusive idea. Prediction for the winner - possibly Raef's hair still with Lucinda's beret coming a close second.

The Good, the Bad and Ugly

The Good

• Roy Cropper and Sir Roy Strong.
• Fizz's new hairstyle.
• The brief return of Foyle's War.

The Bad and Ugly

• Rosemary and Thyme - apologies to the fan out there.
• Roxie's impending battle with drugs (yawn).
• Coronation Street and Emmerdale still not on the Sunday night schedule.

Separated at Birth

 Thanks to Rich W. we have Alex McLeish, manager of Birmingham City, and Paul Hudson (Look North weatherman): 

                                     Spot the difference

.

Separated at Birth

This is a good one courtesy of Judy E. and Tony C., but you have to look veerry closely:

This Week on T.V. - 18th April 2008

The new format of Come Dine With Me must be a disappointment for all the day-time fans. Squashing four guests into a one hour slot, instead of five over five half-hourly segments, just doesn't work as well. We don't have enough time to see the full madness of each contestant and more focus is placed on the food. The food was never as interesting as the idiosyncracies of the host/hostess and was always incidental to the bitching and restrained well-mannered cat fights that we have come to love. I'm also worried that this will herald the end of More 4's Sunday afternoon fest.

The Apprentice gave us a shocker of sorts this week as good egg Simon was booted out in favour of Claire and Alex. It is difficult to understand why anybody with morals would go on the show, though, and the inability to be a traitor is a definite weakness here.

Unlike the audience of You're Fired, this week's fall guy says he agrees with the decision and has gone on to compare himself with David Brent. Such self-reflection shows that perhaps he isn't suited to this world after all, as you need the ego the size of a barrage balloon - to match the boss's -to be the right man for the job.

Eastenders seemed to get more surreal as the week went on and Stephen's decision to become gay is as likely as Sean becoming canonised. The fake dog eating scene and the aftermath, where the nephew of Rusty Lee (who would have thought?), went on to vomit on Dawn was one of the few highlights. Bianca is as irritating and more unlikeable than ever; the same goes for Ricky but add gormless to the list; and the quest for Barmaid of the Year was almost as drawn out as the Heather and Minty wedding.

This Week on T.V. - 11th April 2008

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Sadly, it was the final episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm on Monday night. This has been one of the best programmes on at the moment, but it has suffered the same fate as Seinfeld with the inconsistent scheduling (to celebrate the war in Iraq this time) and relegation to a smaller sister channel. There is always a feel-good factor with both shows as idiot savants Larry and George take selfishness to the extreme and relieve the viewers of their guilt. Because of this, they should be made compulsory viewing to those with an over-exaggerated guilt complex. Watch Larry and let go of the worries - nobody's that bad after all.

This week, Larry's tickly anus caused a problem as did the rumour about a gerbil.The usual convoluted plots were used and the final dream of becoming a member of the Black family could give him the lifestyle he has been missing. Looking back over the series, it has been filled with even more unlikely incidents and coincidences than previous ones and Steve Coogan's turn as an incompetent counsellor turned mugger last week was a fortunate surprise.

Coronation Street continues to be annoying and interesting. David's rampage was good viewing if we suspended any belief or disbelief of nobody being able to stop him (he should have had a gun) and how come Rita was surpised when told about the Barlow's window being broken? Apart from these minor but irritating quibbles, the talk between Audrey and Gail still managed to be moving even though this has been re-worked countless times. This could be a reminder to younger viewers about Gail's fatherless childhood, if they haven't heard it before; it could also be a way in for the scriptwriters to introduce her never seen father in the weeks to come.

This Week on T.V. - 4th April 2008

So, the second week of The Apprentice brings a new anti-hero in Jenny. Her bullying tactics have been admired and condoned. As we are constantly being reminded, this is the cut-throat world of business where weaknesses in the opponent have to be found. As with other reality shows, the decision to keep her in makes us to remember that we do have a code of morality and that involves something terrible happening to the bad guy or girl. I suppose this gives the show that extra bit of complexity for us as finding someone to favour is as likely as finding rocking-horse shit.

BBC4's Curse of Comedy starred Hughie Green this week. Despite him not fitting into the category of comic, this was of interest with Trevor Eve taking the lead role. For those unfortunate enough to have endured Opportunity Knocks, and Stars on Sunday with Jess Yates, this should have been quite enjoyable as the grubbiness of the two men was aired. Green is most memorable for meaning that most sincerely, folks (and for fathering Paula Yates), but this never did seem possible.

This Week On T.V. - 29th March 2008

The Apprentice has made its comeback and we already have the main contender for most objectionable yet watchable candidate. Admittedly it is only the first week, but Raef and his bouffant promise to be ridiculous enough to keep him in for a while. It's a bit early to talk about potential winners, but one of those good-looking boys should have a chance.

In Eastenders on Friday, it was only possible to see the reflection of my living room light in the last half of the programme so I can only guess about the contents of the package Tanya received, who disrupted the electricity (which nobody seemed to mind about), and what happened between Roxie and Sean in the cellar of the Queen Vic. Even when there isn't a power cut it is as though the director is trying to improve our hearing by diminishing our sight.

The return of Benidorm shows British comedy can still be quite funny even if not in the same league as anything American at the moment. It has its critics, but perhaps they should stick to slagging off Teenage Kicks and Ade Edmondson for the way he continues to sell out to the god of money. It beggars belief how anybody involved could think this would be considered entertaining - unless the ITV cronies see this is as just one more day pay and forget about doing a good job.

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