tellyjelly

Eastenders: 23 October 2009

OMG, I can't believe it's not butter, you have got to be joking, and hahahahahaha, all passed through my mind on Friday as at longlong last the identity of the father of Heather's baby, George, was revealed to the nation. For those who missed it, prepare yourself and assume the brace position.

It's Darren. That's right, Darren who goes out with Libby and must be about 18 by now but looks a lot younger. This is the person who we, the viewing public, are expected to believe Heather turned to in her hour of need. This is also the entrepreneur who is only impeded from taking over the world because he has to finish his paper round in time for tea.

The point of suspense is that when the mystery is revealed we can feel some sense of relief and/or satisfaction at the resolution. The revelation that Darren is the father makes me think he was chosen by someone who doesn't actually watch the programme, or perhaps his name was picked out of hat in order to keep the storyline as random as possible.

Eastenders: 22 October 2009

Aah those tricky writers at Eastenders almost had us fooled. Where we thought they were being silly with some of the more unlikely plots, such as Heather musing over the identity of the father of her baby, they were actually writing the script according to how Heather would do it. Yes, ingeniously they decided to have a script based on the imaginings of an imaginary character - or, they have completely gone off the rails and just aren't writing very convincing stories or dialogue. I can't decide which but I think Heather would believe the first argument. 

Elsewhere, Ronnie Mitchell started eyeing up the local hunk, Owen. Yes, he's the one who has just got out of prison for trying to murder his daughter. In other news, Jack was blackmailed by Phil and then humiliated, and it looks like Jack might plot to get his own back in the next week or so as is stated in the soap rules book. 

Coronation Street: 19 October 2009

There were plenty of surprises in last night's Coronation Street with the main one being that there's no restraining order on Joe to stop him from going into the medical centre. Oh yes, Rosie lost what was left of her money to Luke, so he could go dancing, and Carla turned up at Liam's grave but this was to be expected given that her return had been advertised every night for at least two weeks. One question, though: isn't Liam's grave in a different place, or even a different graveyard, since Maria last visited it?

Coronation Street: 12 October 2009

There's nothing worse than a woman scorned, apart that is from Swine Flu and keeping the catching of it a secret. So, when Liz reacted badly to finding out about Lloyd's new lady friend, Teresa, her nastiness was in keeping with her usual characterisation. But why has everyone else turned against Teresa, including Uncle Uhmed and St Clurr of the Taxi Rank? Ok, she's no saint and did try to poison her ex, Jerry, that time, but Lloyd could hardly be accused of lowering himself as the passers by have claimed. 

Eastenders: 8 October 2009

Call me psychic, but I've a funny feeling Eastenders is going to put us through the wringer and back again now Stacey is about to be sectioned and Ronnie has discovered Joel has had the snip. I say 'put us through the wringer and back again' but it does this most of the time anyway. It'll be more like 'put us through an enforced torture session' and masochists that we are we'll no doubt carry on watching.

As upsetting as it is to watch someone have a breakdown, it is still preferable to sitting through Lucas's tedious yet apparently impossible attempts to hide Trina's bracelet. Yes, this is still proving to be a problem for him as he obviously doesn't know of concepts such as bins or drains. His inability to dispose of it may be read as a sign of his guilt, and that he unconsciously wants to be discovered. On the other hand, it could be crap writing that expects viewers to be enthralled by the rising tension of whether he will get away with murder or not. 

Jonathan Meades: Off Kilter September 2009

Perhaps one day Jonathan Meades will be unleashed on the general public, and not just the ones that watch BBC4, and all will glow in the light he gives off. I'd like to be the first, and probably last, to suggest he is made the fifth judge on Strictly Come Dancing. In the unlikely event this were to happen, more than five people at a time would be dazzled by his word play and even more might laugh at his witticisms.

The mini-series of three episodes of Off Kilter had us following him round Scotland and listening to his views on everything - from the horrors of village life to why football lets us be hateful - and it should be repeated immediately on BBC1 or 2 at a sane hour.