tellyjelly

Come Dine With Me: 27 September 2009

The adverts were so long for one of the Come Dine With Me slots that I had time to go to the toilet at Paul's house.

Fortunately I still had time to get back home to watch one of the most competitive and unfriendliest episodes in recent history - apart from the one where that woman had to re-mark as she had been giving the others 0 or 1. Stewart won but, one may ask, was this a pyrrhic victory as he didn't exactly cover himself in glory in front of millions. On the other hand, he did come away a grand richer. 

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Eastenders: 21 September 2009

Is that the scraping of the bottom of the barrel I can hear, yet again (for the loyal readers), or simply my ears refusing to take in the latest drivel as Eastenders takes a turn for the worse (yes honestly) and uses the format of Wife Swap for one of its storylines. Lo and behold, in this new configuration of Ian/Tanya and Jane/Max, Ian is a slave driver and Jane thinks every man over the age of 18, and in an 18 mile radius, fancies her. So much for that storyline then.

Later on, Peggy brought the Miss Queen Vic proceedings to an abrupt halt as she entered dramatically with the bailed out Sam. Thanks to Archie's generous offer of cash in exchange for a room at the inn Sam is now free to er see her family and er argue with people. Thousands appear to have been lavished on this dream of bringing her home for just a few months, but no one seemed that bothered about her spending years abroad in Brazil or noticed how her face and personality have totally changed since we last saw her.  

The Last Nazis: 19 September 2009

Last night's second of three episodes looked promising as a tv crew chased around trying to interview the eponymous last surviving Nazis. It might have looked promising, but I doubt viewers expected so many references on the part of the interviewer on how he is the same age these Nazis were when they committed their crimes and then went on to muse on what they must have been thinking to behave as they did. Some might call this naivety, which the interviewer did occasionally, but others might believe such thoughts could have been left on the cutting room floor as they only served to highlight his ignorance.  

Coronation Street: 18 September 2009

Lloyd, Steve and Claire turned into the Railway Children and no they didn't stop a train and avert a terrible accident, but they did take all their old tat round to Eileen's house after a burglary left her bereft of electrical appliances. Because she is similar to Bernard Cribbins, she too turned stroppy when the so-called gifts were revealed, but because this is Coronation Street (and televisions have now been invented) their actual present of the flat screen tv was accepted warmly.

Meanwhile Jack was having his send-off in the Rovers and it really is strange that they had to have drinks at 12.30 on the dot when he is only moving to a new house in the same town. Really, they could have delayed the small party until after Molly's fake yoga class - some people, honestly.  

Coronation Street: 11 September 2009

While this week's Eastenders starred an unhappy looking Sam Mitchell, and an even more distressed Lucas who couldn't decide where to hide Trina's much loved bracelet (a bin perhaps?), Coronation Street  blew it out of the water with Simon, Blanche and the dead rabbit, Leanne. From Simon receiving the news of his bereavement on Thursday to the funeral in Sally's garden on Friday, all three were on form. 

The only good part of Eastenders this week was seeing the flies gather in Charlie's summer house. For those sensible enough not to watch this, these are used to show how Trina is mouldering dead after being the first person ever to die by rake - she landed on it after an altercation with her ex Lucas and the prongs stabbed her in the neck. Ok, if that's what they want to us to believe, we'll go along with that, but don't push us too far with the story of Lucas not knowing where to dispose of the bracelet ... that's just making us look stupid for watching ...

Big Brother: The Final, 4 September 2009

After weeks and weeks and weeks, the winner was declared and this means we all get our lives back - not just the contestants. Sophie won the £70,000 or so (give or take the odd £20), with Siavash in second, Dave third, Charlie fourth and most surprisingly Rodrigo in fifth. I suppose between now and I'm A Celebrity starting back up I could take up a new hobby, or just sit staring at the telly till it magically appears.

Big Brother: Eviction, 1 September 2009

Lisa was evicted last night and this means there is now nobody in the house, except Dave, who knows where 'Nanoo Nanoo' comes from. It has also been a shock to realise lately that Siavash has been seeing Lisa as a mother figure, as she is around the same age as his mum. Surely this can't be right - he is at least 35 on a good day, and that mankini cum leotard he has been sporting has aged him another ten years.

Anyway, there are now five left for the final and everyone who is anyone is saying how wide open the field is this year. That may be, but if Charlie wins I will definitely claim back the Kenneth money that Channel Four owe me. His practical jokes just aren't doing it for me.

Big Brother: Nominations, 31 August 2009

It's the final sprint of the last week and all the housemates are up for eviction tonight (Tuesday 1 September). The clever money is on Dave or Lisa to go, especially after yesterday's show when both refused to join the other housemates in giving nominations a miss. Dave's reasoning was also suspect: when he obeyed the BB rule of nominating he used the argument that he never does what other people tell him to do.