tellyjelly

Casualty: 26 February 2011

When the majority of the population mock Casualty for being a load of old rubbish, some of us might be speaking too soon and forgetting how educational it is. Last night, for instance, the little-known rarely-spotted thrombalising procedure was used to great effect on the nasty bully mugger. This also led viewers and doctors and nurses into an ethical dilemma, a bit like the Moral Maze, and we had to consider whether or not he should have been thrombalised after all.

Eastenders: 18 February 2011

Heather's week just keeps getting worse. She's almost killed by monoxide poisoning, she's probably going to have a custody battle over baby George with baby father Darren, and Shirl gives her a Mel and Kim CD.

The forthcoming custody suit was signposted not so cleverly when dozy Josie (Jodie really, but poetic licence is applicable in this situation) bought George a sailor suit. The warning became louder the other day when she threw his clothes away. Before we know it, George will be patch-free and wearing shoes and Heather will be only a faded memory.

Coronation Street: 14 February 2011

It was good to see Valentine's Day celebrated last night and if you'd just arrived from Mars you might have initially thought everyone was going to be happy. Sally had a candlit dinner with Jeff who is also known as Alfie and Peter and Leanne nearly had their wedding blessed.

Don't worry, it all went wrong in the end and it moved quickly on from Mills and Boon to melodramatic gothic horror in no time. Peter commanded everyone to stay in the church while he humiliated his once beloved, but now adulterous, Leanne, and with his hypnotic powers he made the guests all sit down and listen as self-righteous indignation took centre stage. After all that, you can't help thinking Leanne's better off out of it.

Sally's meal also went badly wrong once Kevin decided to bring Lloyd and Cheryl round to show them the house now it's for sale. Kevin really should stick to the day job because he'll never sell a house at this rate - there's the conservatory, there's the kitchen, there's the man I'm going to beat up - not exactly Location, Location, Location.

Coronation Street: 4 February 2011

At last, a soap opera parent who recognises his own child. Kevin saved the day and the nation's sanity by immediately realising little Jack was being impersonated by A.N. Other. Not only that, but hard done by Kevin also had the opportunity to take the moral high ground so no wonder he looked lost, and lonely.

Speaking of moral high grounds, it has been decided at Tellyjelly HQ that Tracey Barlow should not have been allowed out of prison. It's not that justice is an issue, although she was guilty, but more that she is too unbearably annoying to watch. More Norris less Tracey, when do we want it, now.

 

Eastenders: 2 February 2011

It's a toss up which was the most damaging to the retina in last night's show: Alfie's red kung fu dressing gown, or seeing Janine maintain her no. 1 role as arch villain now she's Madame Janine. Both were painful to witness and too traumatic to go over again. Meanwhile only Ryan seems to care about Whitney - she's only moved across the square but she may as well be in Alaska for all Ricky or anyone else cares. This story is just going to get more horrible and I can feel another self-imposed ban coming on again. Just think, all those books that can be read in the time I'll be saving by avoiding this programme.