tellyjelly

Eastenders: 30 April 2010

Move Over Darling was the theme tune for last night's show, as Peggy and Pat both gave a rendition to signify their love for Harvey. For those not in the know, Harvey is the low-rent Eastenders' equivalent of Lewis in Coronation Street. For those still not in the know, he is two-timing Peggy and Pat and we should be amused because this is a farcical situation and he is played by Martin 'rings on his fingers' Jarvis. If you are full of wisdom and still not in the know, you are only missing out on embarrassment and self-loathing for watching this in the first place. Stick to reading or listening to the radio instead until he disappears.

Coronation Street: 30 April 2010

Mary's ability to recall facts increases the closer she gets to Norris - and only the queen of the quiz Mary, and Magnus Magnusson's close family, could have known Magnus Magnusson's potted biography. She started reciting such random details last night as she plotted for Norris to stay in their isolated cottage and even bellowed at him when he attempted to check for a way to make the Beast (her mobile home) work again.

You might think he'd be flattered by this much attention, but it turns out he's terrified and, to misquote, he'd rather let an army of zombies in his bedroom than her. This is why he moved the dresser in front of his door, but I have a feeling this won't do any good. It's time to prepare to be hobbled.

Coronation Street: 26 April 2010

I wonder if Norris being busy rearranging his Nuts is the modern day equivalent of fiddling while Rome burns. Anyway, he surprised us all by putting them aside to go to Haworth with Mary. He only went reluctantly, though, and it looks like he won't be moved from his prize-winning holiday-let arm chair for one any time soon. Rumours have it that there is going to be a Corrie re-enactment of Misery soon, starring Mary and Norris, but we'll have to wait and see if she manages to get him in a bedroom.

Norris might have left the street for only a short while, but Gary Windass has returned and confided in David about his AWOL status. This is as unlikely as Audrey falling for her gigolo or as unrealistic as the new Nick Tilsey having women compliment him on his hair do, and we can't help thinking some blackmail might be coming to Gary any day now.