Coronation Street: 6 July 2009

There are still some certainties in life, like death, taxes and knowing not to eat your tea when Casualty is on. The fourth has to be if you cross David Platt you will be hounded out of the street (into prison or hospital - but only if you are a fictional character in Coronation Street). So it's in keeping that he has already lost his cool as well as the plot with Jason who is now in a relationship with Tina, the love of David's life. Even better than seeing him throwing extremely expensive taps in retaliation (worth £60 a go), though, is Gail and her unswerving love for this little prince. Ahh - this could go on and on until he has her dead upstairs on a rocking chair, and he opens a motel, and wears her clothes, and kills someone in a shower.