tellyjelly

The Apprentice: Week 6, 29 April 2008

The Quiet Man of The Apprentice (Noorul) and Debra were brought back into the boardroom this week by the leader of leaders, Ben. Most of us might have thought that Debra would be 'you're fired' for daring to speak down to Nick, or Ben for not being a good leader, but no - Noorul has gone for being too passive, and for not selling the skeleton for more money. 

Eastenders: 28 April 2009

It's not bad enough the unsuspecting viewers had to witness the untimely death of Danielle, or so the producers seem to think, now we have to watch Heather suffer from an asthma attack. The clues were there, as she had been reaching for the inhaler more in the last few episodes than she has in the past few years, but, bam, last night she collapsed in the square not far from Arthur's seat and left us all in misery. Thank you Eastenders for ruining my night yet again.

The Secret Millionaire - in Hull

Why didn't anybody tell me he was coming here?

The Apprentice: Week 5, 22 April 2009

The idea this week was to set up a marketing campaign and the team that came up with Pantsman to sell breakfast cereal was, unsurpisingly, the losing one. So, leader Kimberly took Lorraine and Philip back into the boardroom and she (Kimberly) ended up fired, dismissed and sent off in disgrace. Well, she was fired, and like everyone else before her said how unfair it all was in the taxi-ride-home interview.

Eastenders: 21 April 2009

Eastenders was at its most annoying when it was revealed at the end of last night's ordeal that Zainab had been arranging to meet her long-lost son and wasn't having an affair. Were any viewers surprised, at all, to discover her husband had been wrong and Bob, after all, was an alias? Oh dear.

Hell's Kitchen: 21 April 2009

Grant Bovey is the latest to be sacked by Marco, and Anthea hid in the kitchen to listen to the bad news. The people on this show don't half take it seriously and if you didn't know any better you'd think Grant had been condemned to Devil's Island for life imprisonment after seeing how distraught Anthea was on having to say goodbye (for about a week). While we're on the subject, what is it about Marco and cooks like him that induce so much grovelling in 'ordinary' people (ie people who aren't as good at cooking)? Yes Marco, no Marco, three bags full Marco.

Hell's Kitchen: 19 April 2009

Watching Grant Bovey and Anthea Turner lord it over Jody (Lip of Shameless) as he persevered with his abject apologies, and they kept refusing to accept them, was almost enough to make me vomit. Not quite, fortunately, but Jody, if she ever wants you to apologise again please don't do it - remember the nation is watching and you are our spokesman. Courage mon brave.

The Apprentice: Week Four 15 April 2009

The challenge to create and sell bath products proved too much for ... whatsername ... Paula. Well, Siralan fired her because he thought she should be able to do sums if she wants a job in business. I would have put money on one of her two costings experts, Ben or Yasmina, getting the heave ho, but they survive to embarrass themselves for another day at least.

The North-South Divide: 9 April 2009

This programme had a difficult agenda to fulfill because while John Harris was demonstrating there is such a thing as a north-south divide, where those in the north have a comparatively worse standard of living, he also wanted to show it isn't that grim and places like Hull are worth investing in.

I wish he'd have gone further, though, and asked why there is such a striking difference in numbers in people going to higher education in some parts of the country than others, and why some areas are always at the bottom of the education league tables. I couldn't help wondering if he'd been given a remit to be temperate rather than angry especially as he refrained from shouting out those southerners who think all the 'talent' of the country is or should be concentrated on the periphery of Cambridge.

The Apprentice: Week Three 8 April 2009

This week, James the team leader led his team to defeat and Ben looks set to be the annoying one that stays for a while to boost the viewing figures. Meanwhile, Maj was told 'you're fired' for not doing very much. The set task entailed the teams designing and flogging (that is, selling) a piece of home-gym equipment and the losers' product looked a little like a small coffin. Understandably this was not seen as appealing, as the customers would be trying to stave off thinking about such things.

The other team leader, Debra, demonstrated she has the people skills of Ghenghis Khan and this will no doubt stand her in good stead with Siralan. How depressing to see yet another woman on the show who equates being powerful with being bossy and overly controlling.  

The Secret Millionaire in Aberfan

It's good to see The Secret Millionaire back on our screens and this could be a cure for depression if it wasn't for the fact that it makes the viewers cry so much. It reminds us there are lots of kind people in Britain who volunteer to help others and not everyone is out to make quick buck. As far as I could see the format was always successful, so I can't understand why the producers have decided to reveal in the trailers how much is given away. I wish they would trust to the original idea of keeping us guessing and have faith in the viewers' ability to have an attention span longer than a goldfish.

Eastenders: 2 April 2009

Soap weddings never do go according to plan and it's not a surprise (with this being Eastenders) that Peggie and Archie's was downright disastrous. Not only did the truth-teller Danielle finally tell Ronnie she is her long lost daughter - which caused much angst and disbelief, apparently - and reveal grandad was a liar, she also got hit by a car. Oh My God. Did it never cross the producers' minds to try something else apart from melodrama? It could have only been more exaggerated if Wellard had risen from the dead and been the one to drive the car into her.

Apprentice: Week Two 1 April 2009

Alas, poor Rocky, we didn't know him very well and now he's been fired. Good guys don't win seems to be the message this week, especially ones who think a themed buffet drawing on the Olympics 2012 is a good idea for a bunch of lawyers who probably have no interest in the Olympics. Another lesson learned: keep the costs down at all costs.

Eastenders: 31 March 2009

If Archie is as evil as we are led to believe, surely he could have killed Danielle last night and put us all out of our misery. The dramatic tension in this storyline is as saggy as my knicker elastic and if and when Danielle does manage to tell Ronnie that she is her long lost daughter I only hope they decide to set up home somewhere far far away. Never in the history of soap has a secret being kept for so long and if the producers think this is in anyway keeping us riveted, or even interested, they should check out the definition of contrived.