Saturday Night Viewing: Total Wipeout

For those of us who remember It's A Knockout, Total Wipeout is like its poor relation because the contestants don't get to wear ridiculous costumes and we don't get to hear Stuart Hall's laugh. The selling points comes, though, in the impossibility of the course (namely getting across the big red balls - honestly) and the fact it is made in Argentina. Both of these details lend the programme an air of mystery that has been sadly lacking on the BBC's Saturday night telly schedule.

Thankfully, Your Country Needs You has finally been put out of its and our misery after they found the winning entry for this year's Eurovision Song Contest. We always knew this would be a flawed project when they said the Lloyd Webber magic would stop us coming bottom. We didn't even need the nil point prediction from the patron saint of t.v. viewers everywhere (Harry Hill) because we got to see where Lloyd Webber was coming from when he went begging cap in hand to the 'tricky customer' Putin to ask him to secure more votes for Britain. I would never expect Lloyd Webber to match Jeremy Paxman, say, or even a Barbie doll, in political astuteness, but surely even he knows about Putin's record on human rights.  Shame on you - what next, having tea with Mugabe to discuss the weather?

Comments

[know-all but the answers]

Peleeaassee will someone at the BBC ask Dale to stop blathering on, and on when talking to contestants. All contestants would perhaps get a chance to take part if he didn't go on so much. Also when is it a good thing to be proud of being thick? - I'm fed up with simpering contestants being sooo pleased with themselves when they have obviously slept through primary school and know bu...r all. How do they get on these progs?

[thevoiceofthemysterons]

Saturday night television is more like totalitarian wipeout. A game show filmed in Argentina which uses what looks like a torture theme park left over from the military junta. Then Andrew Lloyd Webber visiting Russia to secure votes with Putin, presumably in exchange for exclusive rights to use Mr Webber songs during the interrogation of prisoners. This is followed by Dale Winton's very own orange revolution, asking questions which a 5 year old could answer without the use of torture or multiple choice. Saturday nights are sooooo long. They could be shortened by putting Winton and Lloyd Webber in Total Wipeout. What joy it would be watching Mr Winton bouncing on big red balls and Mr Lloyd Webber being punched in the face by boxing gloves on sticks.