tellyjelly

Coronation Street: 16 to 20 November 2009

Looking for the pipistrelle in November might be an unlikely reason for most people (especially non-swimmers) to sit by the canal, in the dark, after going to the police to report a murderer, but thankfully Royston Cropper isn't most people. His tussle with Tony Gordon also reminds us that his heroic status is duly deserved. The bats also played their part, though, and they and Roy finally got their revenge on Tony from yonks ago when he had Jason smoke them out of his building works.   

Emmerdale: 12 November 2009

Sally Spode, the single white female who knows how to write church letters, really doesn't like Laurel. If she's not trying to steal Ashley and the kids' affections, she's trying to set fire to her at the first opportunity. Last week, she fiddled while Laurel burned at bonfire night and last night poor old Laurel ended up stuck in the church again. By the way, didn't she get locked in there when she was pregnant too? Anyway, that time, if it did happen, she didn't have to contend with a portable heater being pushed up against a curtain too. Dastardly Sally knows how bad Laurel is at spotting she is on fire, as evidenced on bonfire night, and used this knowledge for her own evil purposes.

Eastenders: 12 November 2009

So Max is coping with the credit crunch by pulling insurance scams, but he's still reluctant to hand over a big wodge of money to the Tree for Trina campaign. The bill for this tree is apparently hundreds, which leads us at Tellyjelly headquarters to question how Abbie came up with this figure. Come to that, why hasn't anyone asked her how she knows so much about memorial trees.

Let's put this implausible storyline aside for a moment to consider the main one last night: that Ian thinks Tanya has been flirting with him. It was strange I suppose, for Ian and the viewers, that she gave him a make-over at her home rather than in the spacious and usually empty salon, but really, the actor who plays Ian deserves some credit for enduring this nonsense for so long. Give him a break writers - let him be nice, even and considerate for a full episode.

Coronation Street: 12 November 2009

Like Roy, I've also found it's best to confront known murderers directly. You have to let them know you know their secret, and then stand outside their window in the dark and the rain just to make sure they understand they have to go to the police with their terrible secret. Ok it's a bit of a gamble that they don't decide to carry on murdering, but that's the chance we have to take.

Who better than Roy though when it comes to embodying a conscience. He might not look or sound like Jiminy Cricket, and Tony Gordon is nothing like Pinocchio, but the Ray Mears of the cobbles is proving he is as heroic as ever.

Eastenders: 5 November 2009

It was just one of those days for leaving things lying around yesterday. Peggy left her accounts in Ian Beale's cafe and this was careless and implausible enough for the drained viewers. When we found out that Jane had also left her secret adoption papers on the table for all to read, and this includes neighbours who wander in for the purposes of the plot, this was a careless step too far.

7 Days on the Breadline: 3 November 2009

For some, just getting by is a struggle, and then Mel B comes round to help you out. The main problem if you end up with her rather than, I don't know, any of the other celebrities on the programme, is that she thinks belonging to a gym actually does improve your quality of life. Whereas most people think of a gym visit as a punishment, and this includes most people who live outside of the rich areas of Los Angeles, she insisted on seeing her offer of free membership as a reward. Along with her taste in tracksuits and her belief that people who live on council estates are a charitable concern, I would whole heartedly oppose any application she makes to be a social worker.

Eastenders: 3 November 2009

Just before the theme tune woke some of us out of our cosy but partial comas, we find out from Janine and Archie that whipping boy, who is also known as Billy Mitchell, is going to get the blame for torching the Vic. Between you, me, and other law-abiding citizens, I think this means they are going to set him up and blame him for a forthcoming arson attack on the local public house. Something like that anyway. I was hoping that for once Billy might have some pleasure in his life, particularly after his blind date of sorts with Jean. But no, that would be too much like allowing Billy and the viewers to be happy.