It was good to see Valentine's Day celebrated last night and if you'd just arrived from Mars you might have initially thought everyone was going to be happy. Sally had a candlit dinner with Jeff who is also known as Alfie and Peter and Leanne nearly had their wedding blessed.
Don't worry, it all went wrong in the end and it moved quickly on from Mills and Boon to melodramatic gothic horror in no time. Peter commanded everyone to stay in the church while he humiliated his once beloved, but now adulterous, Leanne, and with his hypnotic powers he made the guests all sit down and listen as self-righteous indignation took centre stage. After all that, you can't help thinking Leanne's better off out of it.
Sally's meal also went badly wrong once Kevin decided to bring Lloyd and Cheryl round to show them the house now it's for sale. Kevin really should stick to the day job because he'll never sell a house at this rate - there's the conservatory, there's the kitchen, there's the man I'm going to beat up - not exactly Location, Location, Location.
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