tellyjelly

Ultimate Big Brother: The Final, 10 September 2010

The last ever Big Brother, and the final was worth seeing in the end because Ulrika didn't win. Yes, a big sigh of relief in the tellyjelly house, and oh what a shame that it won't be on ever again. This means summers will be filled with time to do something more worthwhile than watch those millions of hours of footage of people doing nothing - and I'm absolutely gutted.

Black armband on, head bowed, hanky at the ready, here's the final rollcall: Chantelle came third, Nikki was second and Brian Dowling was the winner.

Eastenders: 10 September 2010

It was news to me, and perhaps to you, but since Peggy left Albert Square she has been made the Queen of Bingo. To the untrained eye this took all of two minutes, as she tottered out of Eastenders to the sympathetic version of the theme tune that they play occasionally to remind us when something is poignant, and then suddenly re-appeared on ITV adverts laughing insanely and dressed as Elizabeth I.

She leaves many behind in her wake, least of all Phil whose voice has undergone a remarkable change since he took up crack cocaine mixed with vodka. I'm sure the after effects of the fire haven't helped, but surely someone could give him some TCP to gargle with.

Peggy's departure was one of the stranger ones we've been forced to witness and no doubt the way has been left open for her inevitable Sinatra-like comeback - and I bet they couldn't force her into a black cab for love or money. I know we were supposed to feel sad, because people were crying and the music was sombre, but this has to have been one of the funniest episodes in a long time (which doesn't take much). This was topped off with the finale as for some contrived reason no one bothered to see her out of the house or even wave from the window, and ah, poor Peggy walked out past the Queen Vic alone to take over her realm of bingo.

Ultimate Big Brother: Eviction Night, 3 September 2010

Makosi and Nadia were evicted last night to what turned out to be rapturous booing. Given that this is Big Brother, this shouldn't be a surprise, but it was for Nadia. How strange to live the last few years believing in the reality of this popularity contestant and then, before you know it and after one or two wrong words to Josie, you're everyone's latest enemy. Big Brother fans are so fickle, you'd think the contestants would know this by now.