tellyjelly

Big Brother: Launch Night, 4 June 2009

Oh God, the crack cocaine of tv is back and no I couldn't resist it.

Here's the prediction for the winner, which will of course be totally wrong:

Wait for it ....

Yes, it looks certain that ... Kris or Charlie will win (depending on house mate status, nominations, evictions and the viewing public).

The Apprentice: Week 11, 3 June 2009

Oh well, never mind, as yet again I fail to pick a winner or even a finalist on this or any other reality tv show. He should have picked James and Lorraine, though, and not Yasmina and Kate. Grumble grumble. Anyway, I am at least relieved the ridiculous torture by ritual humiliation round is over. We're not worthy of your opinions oh great ones. No, really, we're not, so please stop giving them to us (especially big chief Claude).

Eastenders: 2 June 2009

Who would have thought a stool leg could have posed such a deadly threat to a crowd of people? Nasty Nick, that's who, and I bet he couldn't believe his luck when he had so many people in the cafe at one time as this gave him the chance to terrrorise everyone in the square all in one go.

Oh dear what another strange, melodramatic storyline. In the time it took him to break the stool into pieces and select the deadliest of the remaining legs, at least one of the hostages could have made a run for it, surely. And what about the fire, and the closing shot of 'flames' licking around Bradley's strawberrry blonde hair? Mm. I take it he manages to recover from this close call, and no doubt his Nastiness will return in another few years with another child and another cunning plan.

Eastenders: 1 June 2009

As we all know, this is the second time Nasty Nick has decided to poison his poor old ma, so you'd think he would have found somewhere more discreet to crush the tablets. There he was last night, merrily crushing away in the kitchen while Dot prayed in the living room, and he even had the door open. They may as well have had him sat on Arthur's Seat (the bench in the square), but more believably upstairs out of the way. While we're on the subject, couldn't they have come up with a different way to kill her, just to make it more interesting? The addition of Dottie is supposed to be another turn of the screw, I suppose, but it would have been far better if he'd rigged up the stairlift like he did Ashley's motorbike. Or set a hit man onto her, or poison the pages of her Bible...