tellyjelly

Coronation Street: John Stape not John Snape

John Stape, English teacher, taxi driver, and now kidnapper has clearly come unstuck from reality. This became apparent last night and it wasn't just that he expected our Rosie to be sorry for her (and his) actions, but that he thought citing John Webster to her would make a difference. This could only happen in Coronation Street and that is why it wipes the floor with Eastenders every time. 

While Eastenders is trying to crank up its ratings by sensationalising abuse, Coronation Street avoids the clamour and even manages to be funny. Take the conversation between Blanche and Norris when they were gossiping about Jerry's ex-wife being a poisoner, and Norris said how he knew she was a criminal because her face is harder than the ones on Mount Rushmore; he's also worried about dying alone in a bedsit and turning into 'half-man half-mattress'. If only he had more lines, and could talk to Roy more so he had more lines, and then they could both visit Albert Square to give us a break from the east end perpetual misery.

The Family on Channel 4

I'm not sure if this updated version of The Family is too slick or if I'm being nostalgic for the 70s and the Wilkins, but I can't help thinking this family just isn't interesting enough to sustain a two month show. Apart from having the wrong family (ie not the Wilkins), I wish they'd left at least one reference in about the cameras filming their every move to remind me it's supposed to be a documentary. The soundtrack, occasional voiceovers and smart editing could lead some people to believe they'd been watching a Kent version of Crossroads. 

 

For those like me who miss the real family, go to http://www.screenonline.org.uk/tv/id/444743/ to see a clip of Tom.

BBC4's Only Connect

On seeing Victoria Coren was presenting a new quiz show I thought it would be worth a look as she has some quirky views. In the Observer, she wrote in defence of the two young chaps who pushed a woman off a train platform the day after she had criticised them for smoking at the same station. Bearing this in mind, there was a good chance this programme could have been original in its use of violence on game show contestants (throwing darts at each other instead of the board; tie them to the wheel of fortune before pushing it down the hill).

Unfortunately, it was un peu pretentious rather than funny or exciting. The give away was when one team member (of the Knitters) described a home-made tank-top as 'artisan crafted' rather than 'knitted', and the only way they could choose a category to answer a question was to have a working knowledge of the Greek alphabet. I doubt they win anything either, except the glory of taking part; it almost makes you wish for a return of Les Dennis (not Vernon Kay, who has been rumoured to be dead - but isn't) in Family Fortunes.

The Dark Side of Fame with Piers Morgan: Jim Davidson

As a former tabloid editor, you'd have thought Piers Morgan was the dark side of fame and Jim seemed to think so too as he blamed journalists for the downfall of his last marriage. Listen to Jim, though, and it doesn't take long to see that this subject choice was perfect for showing that Piers Morgan isn't that bad really, not when you compare the two anyway. Put aside all allegations and truths about his (Davidson's) homophobia, racism, sexism, and hatred for anyone left out, you still know he hasn't caught up with the 20th century when he quotes a Jethro joke to make his point about disliking women. As sorry a figure as this makes him, I can only feel sympathy for his ex-wives and all the soldiers who have not only had to fight in a war, but listen to his stand-up routine as well.

Coronation Street: 15 September 2008

As if Jerry didn't have enough to put with, seeing as his ex-wife tried to poison him, she has to drag out an old mocked up photo of when they were together 'before the twins were made'. By my reckoning this was around the time he was Sinbad in Brookside and he looked nothing like this younger Jerry; he looked the same then as he does now. Someone should tell Teresa this is a case of mistaken identity and this interloper was busying washing windows on a quiet close in Liverpool at the time she supposedly met him.