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Big Brother's Sara: Living the fairy tale

Although Stuart didn't realise, Sara was chatting him up again on last night's show and used the old but ineffective trick of pretending to be Little Red Riding Hood. Aw, Stu, what big arms you've got, what big hands ... Poor lovelorn Stuart, and he still thinks nobody cares.

Lisa goes from strength to strength, though, especially when she compared the eviction battle between Stuart and Dale to that between Will Young and Gareth Gates on the X-Factor. I don't know who would have been more insulted, but I'd take a guess at Gareth Gates. She is also adept (a.d.e.p.t. - not a.p.t.) at reading the crystal ball as was proven when she told Darnell why Sara was upside down when he looked in it.

Big Brother: Dale has been evicted

Dale's eviction wasn't that much of a shock and nor was his post-house interview with Davina. Surprise, surprise Jen was waiting for him in the wings and they were reunited - and no doubt they will be appearing together in and on every media outlet for the next week or so.

Meanwhile, Rex continues to show that money can't buy you everything. It might pay the bills and buy you a strange haircut, but what about charm, charisma and generosity of spirit? Rex's Girlfriend (Nicole) looked happy for the first time this week, though, when her suitcase arrived, but I have a sinking feeling that the smile will soon be erased when the heaven and hell divide is done away with.

Big Brother's Rex and Nicole: Don't bother buying a hat

Rex let it slip last night that he thinks Nicole is making him look like an ass-hole. The ginger one has lost his sense of irony - if he ever really had one - and looks set to unravel before our very eyes. It doesn't need spelling out, but I will: he manages to look like an ass-hole all by himself. If he carries on this way, where he berates her then fawns over her then berates her etc, I'm going to have to hire a plane and fly it over with the Women's Refuge number attached.

On the other hand, they could be vying with each for Martyr of the Year. She has had to do some washing up, and he did insist on staying up late with her. Oh dear, perhaps they are well suited after all. I can't wait to see how jealous he gets, though, if she stays in the house longer than him.

Big Brother's Ratner Moment

Before last night's show, Stefano had a succesful business as a hairdresser to the rich and famous (according to Rex). But now Rex has gone and ruined it all because he told Nicole - and the viewers - who is responsible for that which is perched on his head. Most people would have presumed the ginger one had designed and cut his own hair, as he is so sure that he is multi-talented, but no, Stefano takes the blame and like Ratner before him we can now wait for the empire to crumble.

Big Brother: Dale and Stuart nominated

They have both said in the past that they want to be nominated, so now one of them has the chance to get out of jail free on Friday. Is it just me or is Dale getting slightly more interesting, and might get to stay? I wouldn't have said this was the case when he was busy telling Rachel and Maysoon that they were boring, because he bored me then. However, after hearing him ask Rachel if she thought she was Gandhi, after she had volunteered the heavenly ones to help with the washing up, it seems he is wittier than he looks.

Note to self: when I next visit Mikey for Sunday dinner at his house, I'll avoid the brussel sprouts.

Big Brother's Stuart: A walking target

Poor Stuart came in the Big Brother house looking for love, but has now given up on the idea as a bad job. If only he could lower his high standards a little, he would see that he is the object of affection for many:

• Sylvia - she loved to loll on him, even though he wanted to sleep.
• Jen - she was so desperate to prove they were soul mates, she cited their common interest in Friends as proof.
• Lisa - aiming to impress him by saying she was a backing singer for 10cc.
• Sara - joining him in bed to supposedly escape Darnell.

Big Brother's Nicole: Being Rex's girlfriend

Rex keeps asking his girlfriend, Nicole, what's wrong and she says nothing, but we know she's miffed because he can say the alphabet backwards a lot quicker than she can. He'd already agreed to try to fail the task so they could be together in Hell, but it seems he just can't help himself when it comes to being competitive. To be fair, for a change, she is also devastated about the loss of her suitcase - after one day in the house. Call me psychic if you wish, but I can already sense she might be going as soon as her immunity has run out if she keeps living up to the compliment of princess.