tellyjelly

Big Brother: House of Parliament

It will be interesting to watch Luke’s best bits when he comes out (which may be sooner than he thinks).  His decline from innocence to scheming, sex-starved megalomaniac would be a fascinating study for a psychoanalyst – I thought it culminated in the kiss, but his election posturing and dismantling of Rebecca’s new bed just showed how much further he has to go.  Austin Powers may need to be called in to deal with this new Dr Evil.  Let’s hope he isn’t elected and given the power he really really craves (no matter what Kat says).

 

First time I’ve noticed Dale’s nervous stutter.  His non-political speech was probably the best, but was as non-committal as it could possibly have been.  I think perhaps he used Rachel as a ghost writer.

 

With no Mario to act as the father figure, as well as the health and safety inspector, it was interesting to see Rebecca manage to pull in so many boys to her toothpaste guerrilla action – although I think that it was all a smokescreen to cover the fact that she just wanted to throw something at Darnell.

 

And finally…now that Belinda has spotted how the house itself is physically capable of being separated in two, let’s hope she doesn’t talk to Lisa about it, because when it splits to become Heaven and Hell, Lisa may feel that she has to prostrate herself before Belinda - the oracle of the Universe.  Well, at least it is better than bowing down before Mario.

 

Written before the election result was broadcast and before the caretaker read the last post!

 

tellyjelly is having a day off

Big Brother's Darnell: Hell is other people

Up to the minute news (as of 3pm Sunday 13 July 2008) - Darnell is the new house president and he has selected his fellow heavenly housemates. It comes as no surprise that he has chosen B Block 9 plus Maysoon and the luxury bedroomers now have to swap places with them. If there is a twist which would mean those in hell (such as Bex and Luke) get to have more fun, I am asking for a refund on my telly licence.

Big Brother: Mario followed his calling

As Lisa predicted, the universe called and Mario answered after over 70% voted for him. Far from this being the win-win situation that I predicted, this has turned out to be a horrible week as the remaining one (Bex, but Mario would have done exactly the same) is left to crow about being 'popular'. She has said that her fans include all of Coventry and other Hanson followers, and she is proud of this. Perhaps it's time to stick my foot through the T.V. screen, rip the plug from the wall and read a good book - or I could wait for Luke to be up for eviction.

Big Brother Evictions

It's tricky choosing between Mario and Bex:

• Mario used to be a magistrate, as well as a facilitator, manager and postman, so he will be mature enough to cope with his eviction.
• On the other hand, his health and safety tips will be missed.
• Bex and Luke are going to form a relationship in the hope that viewers will want to see more of them being together. This is not an accurate perception and the majority of right minded people (who agree with me) will feel nauseous about them dominating anymore air time even if it is just her throwing flour at him.

Is it possible to have a dead heat, then we could have a surprise double eviction?

Big Brother Trouble and Strife: Mario

According to Lisa, the cracks are beginning to show in their relationship and I can't help wondering if elastic bands could be used somehow to help bring them back together again. Mario is such a mine of information about how useful they are, and who would have guessed the dangers of slipping on one until he pointed it out. He could have risen in stature with this nugget, but he had to go and blow it again by being mean and, it has to be said, somewhat jealous that Lisa hasn't been nominated too. At this rate, he's going to get as many votes as Jen and Sylvia and worst of all Bex will think she is popular.

Top Five Annoying Adverts

Top Five Annoying Adverts:

1. The Laughing Cow - far too much squeaking in that kitchen.

2. Foxy Bingo - those who hate this (and you know who you are) don't need it explaining, but Jeremy Kyle should hang his head in shame for having this as a show sponsor

3. Any DFS advert - but don't forget they deliver before Christmas.

4. Argos - I can't resist putting this on the list even if they do have laminated books of dreams.

5. WKD and McCoys Crisps - joint fifth position for the funny boys.

Big Brother Nominations: Mario and Bex

So it's Mario 'don't run with the scissors' Marconi versus Bex in the nominations and at last the viewers can relax for what Mario would call this win-win situation. There's no need to vote and we can save our pennies for when it counts; the combination could only have been bettered with having Luke to choose from too.

It would be good to see Mario stay, but only because he looks ready to lose his temper in style. His argument with Lisa about washing up and annoyance with Belinda for snoring louder than him were promising material for Big Brother fans, but has he done enough to keep himself safe? Only a lecture on health and safety can save him now.

Big Brother and the Big Paper Bag

Well, who would have thought it Mario, Luke can fight his way out of a giant paper bag and Lisa can't. Speaking of Luke and Mario, fingers crossed their fates are now sealed after their nasty talk in the diary room about all women and Mohamed. Luke has come to resemble the bad cop/bad lawyer who gets as much information out of the criminals as possible so they condemn themselves with their own words. Mikey ended up in jail after being 'led on' by him, and Mario the Manager has now portrayed himself as sneering and sexist.It is likely these events would have occurred without Luke's input, to be fair, but his trickery is becoming tiresome. It is time for Rachel to embrace the inner bitch (although I'm sure there isn't one) and set up a whispering campaign against him.

Big Brother's Lisa: Travelling Light

When Lisa informed the house and millions of viewers that she has had at least 10 out of body experiences, I wonder how many people assumed this occurred while Mario was telling her about his time on the beat. If only he had been chanting one of his mantras (about swings and roundabouts or being respectful to others), I think Kat would have been able to levitate on her own.

Last night, Mario revealed again that he has forgotten the basics of Big Brother - if people have just been saved in the eviction vote, there is a chance the public like them and so you should pretend to like them too. It is as though his wisdom is being drained from him the longer he stays; by the time he faces eviction he will be sharing a bed with Luke and chasing him around the garden.