tellyjelly

Big Brother: Eviction Night, 30 July 2010

Ben, John James, Andrew and Dave were on the shortlist this week and Ben was given the public old heave-ho; he was evicted, quiff and all. He went in the middle of what has to have been the best task ever: the ignoring of the obvious. Davina coming in the house to disturb them was second only to Marcus Bentley, the Geordie narrator, doing a running commentary the other day as he stared at them in the living room. The marching brass band through the garden wasn't bad either.

Eastenders: 29 July 2010

Denise returned from the dead last night and was probably hoping for a welcome reception from her daughters. You can't blame her for thinking this, as she had been missing for weeks and her girls love her even though they thought she killed Owen before committing suicide. Most people, apart from Eastenders script writers, would have expected them to be happy if not a little traumatised. So, imagine my surprise, yet again, when the exact opposite happened.

Chelsea was furious at her mother for making a re-appearance, but at least this gave us a laugh. It was also pretty hilarious when Lucas held them hostage with the threat of, well, his presence and imposing demeanour. And let's go through this one more time: he threw a t.v. out of the window, and still nobody could hear what was happening inside. The bystanders couldn't get in the house either because the door was bolted, and yet there was a massive telly-sized hole in the window.

Eastenders: 27 July 2010

You know that if an Eastenders episode features Fats you're in for a trying time and last night was no different to usual. Ha ha - he had this idea that he and his new-found long-lost best friend should play rounders in the Square, because he felt like seizing the moment. Guess what, go on, you won't believe it. Ok, he broke a window and much confusion arose out of this situation.

While he was making us laugh, Denise made us cry. I think that was the plan anyway. Yes - Denise is well and truly back from the dead and I'm not kidding when I say you really won't believe it. She was in the cellar of the boarded up house next door to Patrick's B & B all along, and nobody knew (perhaps because it was so far-fetched, nobody could know).

Eastenders: 26 July 2010

I know a good idea for a soap storyline: it's about time we had a lengthy discussion about Deuteronomy and what this book means in relation to the New Testament because nobody has ever done that before in the history of soapland telly. Mmm. Unfortunately, what seems like a cracking scene on paper doesn't actually work with actors, cameras and an audience.

While we're on the subject of unlikely, impossible storylines, where abouts is Denise being kept prisoner? I looked away for a second as I wiped a tear from my eye at the thought that she is still alive, and so could have missed Lucas's entrance. Is it under the allotment shed, I wonder, or somewhere more exotic like the cellar in the Queen Vic? All answers will be given due consideration.

Eastenders: 20 July 2010

Denise might well have been annoying and shrill, but I wouldn't have thought this would have been enough evidence to find her guilty, ad (after her death), of killing Owen. There isn't one dissenting voice among the residents, and even her sister seems to accept the accusation that five foot nothing Denise killed Owen, buried him in the Square, on her wedding day, and never aroused any suspicions until now, after being found dead in the canal.

Big Brother, Ife Evicted: 16 July 2010

After much cogitation, deliberation and watching of telly, the man from Delmonte says 'ok' to the final Big Brother but is still a little reserved in his judgement. The contestants seem more like real people this year - it's as though we're being weaned off the annual fix off horror show and carnival with normality.

But who will win? The tipster says Steve but watch this space if he carries on flirting with Keeley.

Coronation Street: 5 July 2010

A viewer was left puzzled and shocked after this episode, and it wasn't just when I was wondering why Trev, Carla's latest, looked so different, and it wasn't only when Deirdre came on to Lewis aka Nigel Havers in the backyard. No, the shocker was Deirdre 'reminding' us about Ken's escorting past. Now this could just be me, but I was left reeling as this particular memory had, it appears, been wiped from the hard drive.

Other news - how come Cheryl and Lloyd couldn't see Cheryl's violent partner illuminated by the light of the chip shop, but he could see them in Lloyd's (dark) car. I know I know - this is a work of fiction, and this did not actually happen, but if it did I wouldn't believe it.

Eastenders: 5 July 2010

Let's get this right then - Owen was buried under Trina's tree, and Trina was found dead in the shed covered in flies. It's so confusing and difficult to remember, especially given the name of the tree and knowing how ironic Eastenders can be sometimes. At least I think they were being ironic last night when Phil's Auntie Glenda flirted with him. While we all covered our eyes or went to make a cup of tea, I've been reliably informed that Peggy was v. annoyed and acted as though she was 'angry'.