tellyjelly

Coronation Street: 10 June 2010

The Cobbled One is free at last: Gail is innocent. As pleased as we all are on her behalf,  it would have been even better if her 'big day' had been playing her debut for Man Utd rather than going to court, as her sarky eldest son said. She could have been playing for England over the next few weeks if she'd have done herself and her team proud.

Anyway, back in the real world, as Gail slurps on her Pinot Grigio Tracey is put into hospital for grassing and about time too we say. Hurrah as well, and throw away the key while you're at it.

Eastenders: 7 June 2010

Feeling sad? Is time collapsing around you in the middle of your mid-life crisis? Don't despair because the writers at Eastenders have come up with a way to slow time down. You could even say they have given us the elixir of youth, but this would be exaggerating. What is this miracle, you may ask all agog. Fats is the name and Fats is the pain, or something like that. Watch this character on the screen for five minutes as he either saves the day again or fails to save the day again, and it will feel as though hours have passed.

Last night he went from being devastated about the imminent departure of his best friend to Lagos - a BF we have never seen before, by the way, - to being ecstatic. This was because she and her granny realised that they were only going to Nigeria because each thought the other wanted to. The comic confusion was solved by Fats and seconds became days and the half-hour episode turned into a week-long torture by boredom. 

Eastenders: 1 June 2010

The mystery of Leon's disappearance: I bet the makers of Scooby Doo and The Blair Witch Project are filing lawsuits right this very minute on the grounds of not just being ripped off, but being ripped off so badly. Here's hoping Peter did run Leon over and in his grief he does the same to the rest of the group, and reverses back and forth over Fat Boy who, unbelievably, is even more annoying this week than ever before. Or perhaps his uncle's house could blow up just as they're all sat around the kitchen table while they are busy being teenagers.