Feeling sad? Is time collapsing around you in the middle of your mid-life crisis? Don't despair because the writers at Eastenders have come up with a way to slow time down. You could even say they have given us the elixir of youth, but this would be exaggerating. What is this miracle, you may ask all agog. Fats is the name and Fats is the pain, or something like that. Watch this character on the screen for five minutes as he either saves the day again or fails to save the day again, and it will feel as though hours have passed.
Last night he went from being devastated about the imminent departure of his best friend to Lagos - a BF we have never seen before, by the way, - to being ecstatic. This was because she and her granny realised that they were only going to Nigeria because each thought the other wanted to. The comic confusion was solved by Fats and seconds became days and the half-hour episode turned into a week-long torture by boredom.
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