tellyjelly

Coronation Street: 26 April 2010

I wonder if Norris being busy rearranging his Nuts is the modern day equivalent of fiddling while Rome burns. Anyway, he surprised us all by putting them aside to go to Haworth with Mary. He only went reluctantly, though, and it looks like he won't be moved from his prize-winning holiday-let arm chair for one any time soon. Rumours have it that there is going to be a Corrie re-enactment of Misery soon, starring Mary and Norris, but we'll have to wait and see if she manages to get him in a bedroom.

Norris might have left the street for only a short while, but Gary Windass has returned and confided in David about his AWOL status. This is as unlikely as Audrey falling for her gigolo or as unrealistic as the new Nick Tilsey having women compliment him on his hair do, and we can't help thinking some blackmail might be coming to Gary any day now.

Coronation Street: 19 April 2010

Molly decides to undo her seatbelt only seconds before the car crash and we can only assume she did this because she was full from the pub carvery. If only Tyrone hadn't decided to be less boring and so took her there for a meal instead of straight to Diggory's, Kevin would have caught them up and she wouldn't have been so full that she took complete leave of her senses. Take note viewers, carveries have their dangers and in their own innocuous way, so we are led to believe, they are even worse than drink driving.

Life of Riley: Series Two

Hahahahahahahhaha thud, I don't think.

Coach Trip: 14 April 2010

The walking contradictions in terms, the posh punks (and by the way they're neither), have left the trip after only one yellow card and cited personal reasons for going - rather than the probable truth that they don't want to wait for the red card.

The very young boys, Nathan and Rom, are miraculously still free to wander Europe, but surely they must be the next to go home or at least the most likely to be arrested - hopefully in a country where the laws are tough and the prisons are tougher.

Eastenders: 13 April 2010

It could be that Fat Boy has been deliberately talking in riddles to make sure the older generations of the viewing population think they are getting Alzheimers - OR - it could be the writers are carrying on with their desperate bid to capture the yoof vote even though this is now getting embarrassing.

Echoes of old stories are reverberating elsewhere as when Phil bought Ben football boots. It seems as soon as summer appears near the horizon poor old Ben is sent off to football camp or made to kick a ball about in the Square. This storyline is about as subtle as Lucy's 'secret' message to Amira - the one that  says Syed loves Christian, and which is now painted on their bedroom wall.

Eastenders: 9 April 2010

Here's hoping that Billie's dream comes true and he gets posted to Afghanistan, and between now and the time to leave he makes friends with the new Mitchell rogue - Danny Archie - and takes him with him. Danny's scheming is child's play, no, really it is, and as he pits sister against sister, on the orders of his mother, we have to sit and watch another supposed criminal mastermind trick his way into owning the Queen Vic. I suppose I could stop watching the programme, but that would only mean he'd won, I think.

Coronation Street: 9 April 2010

Ken and Deirdre's anniversary party wouldn't have been the same without a full-blown argument so that's probably why it was Leanne's turn to have a public apoplectic fit. It did feel a little forced as her evidence for Peter's imagined adultery was mainly based on a dislike of black-haired gang leader, Michelle. This is the given reason why she tried to throw a drink over her but we still don't know why she did so in the style of garden water sprinkler. Taking Leanne's side momentarily, though, it was at the very least unlikely that Peter took his ex Michelle along to help him choose an engagement ring.

Eastenders: 2 April 2010

Jack's really down on his luck at the moment. On Thursday he was shot in the ear, but has so far miraculously survived, and now Chelsea has promised to be by his side until he wakes up from his coma. Billy Jackson and his gang are to blame for this untimely earache (the bullet, not Chelsea) and while we're on the subject, you can always tell when it's a gang-related shooting by the way the perp holds the gun sideways innit.

Enough of the street talk, though, as the Mitchells continue to dominate the storylines on the anniversary of Danielle's death. It was no surprise to find out last night that the long lost Mitchell brother, Danny, is yet another one who is still being controlled by his mother. I presume we'll have months of him manipulating the dozy sisters and Auntie Peg while he siphons money into his Swiss bank account. By the end he'll have control of the Queen Vic and they'll be begging for the scraps off his plate. Yeah yeah.