tellyjelly

7 Days on the Breadline: 3 November 2009

For some, just getting by is a struggle, and then Mel B comes round to help you out. The main problem if you end up with her rather than, I don't know, any of the other celebrities on the programme, is that she thinks belonging to a gym actually does improve your quality of life. Whereas most people think of a gym visit as a punishment, and this includes most people who live outside of the rich areas of Los Angeles, she insisted on seeing her offer of free membership as a reward. Along with her taste in tracksuits and her belief that people who live on council estates are a charitable concern, I would whole heartedly oppose any application she makes to be a social worker.

Eastenders: 3 November 2009

Just before the theme tune woke some of us out of our cosy but partial comas, we find out from Janine and Archie that whipping boy, who is also known as Billy Mitchell, is going to get the blame for torching the Vic. Between you, me, and other law-abiding citizens, I think this means they are going to set him up and blame him for a forthcoming arson attack on the local public house. Something like that anyway. I was hoping that for once Billy might have some pleasure in his life, particularly after his blind date of sorts with Jean. But no, that would be too much like allowing Billy and the viewers to be happy.