Stay here for the latest reviews of what is and isn't hot on television. Soaps feature 
strongly, in accordance with the rules set down for addicts to t.v., and the only reality accepted is that which is edited for the viewers - except for anything with Simon Cowell's fingerprints attached - so Big Brother we are watching you. I also promise to celebrate the goodness of Roy Cropper and the badness of Alan Sugar sorry Sir Alan. 
Too often, reviewers tend to criticise telly as though they despise the medium they 
are paid to watch. Sometimes, it seems that they haven't even watched the programme they are discussing. Apart from Teenage Kicks, which is only bearable in five minute segments, the programmes looked at here have been given the full attention they deserve.
Hi Jell,
Is that you? If so, well done - love it so far. CJ xx
Posted by: Gritty | 03 May 2008 at 03:13 PM
Enjoying tellyjelly's new wordsmith - keep up the good work for jelly far across the channel
Posted by: Judy(mum) | 16 June 2008 at 05:20 PM
Also enjoying tellyjelly's caretaker whilst jelly is soaking up the rays (hopefully), but looking forward to jelly's return. Could be in for an unwelcome surprise, though, as Euro 2008 continues to play havoc with the soaps' normal schedules.
Posted by: Anne D | 17 June 2008 at 06:49 PM
Go, Foxy Bingo... I am convinced there is an army of Foxy Bingo averse Tellyjelliers out there. Please show your support to get Burlington Bertie and friends up to number one spot. Might have to go on The Jeremy Kyle Show to get help with my obsessive loathing of this fox in purple costume.
Posted by: Andy | 09 July 2008 at 11:19 PM
The programme I would most like to see on TV is “I'm a wannabe celebrity...please don't shoot me” were the long suffering tv public can vote who gets the lead in the ear treatment, we could also have a sister programme “I'm a reality tv producer...don't get me out of here” were we can simply leave them to rot, preferably of some nasty fungal disease... Oh well, of to the doc's for some more spleen pills the last lot don't seem to be working.
p.s. How about a most comebacks in a career list, I vote for the Dalek's.
Posted by: Ianm | 14 July 2008 at 12:04 PM
Hi Tellyjelly,
Intrigued to know when Ianm found the time to post that comment between lapping up all the action from Big Brother, since this Tellyjellier is obviously an avid reality tv fan? Could I suggest Ianm tries to calm down a bit, and that rather than rushing off to the doctor, perhaps tries a spot of Deal or No Deal for stimulation.
Posted by: Andy | 14 July 2008 at 04:37 PM
Having read the word star jelly's excellent comments on the BB household and not having watched any of the prog myself, I decided to cast a jaundiced eye over the BB proceedings and watch Mondays offerings, uninitiated as I am to reality tv I was amazed to find it was absolutely...CRAP!!.
Tao of TV : All Soaps need water.
Posted by: ianm | 15 July 2008 at 01:21 PM
Having dipped my proverbial big toe into the sordid world of reality tv that is Big Bother, I was going to launch into a vociferous diatribe of “what is wrong with this country”, however Alan Finlayson in his article “Big Brothers Message: we are a selfish society” ([*]in the Guardian [*]) sums it up better than me, which just leaves me to say “wearing hats indoors...well I never !!”
as for Andy, all I can say is “Andy to the Dreary Room Please”.
Tao of TV: Corrie causes constipation, curry cures
Posted by: Ianm | 15 July 2008 at 02:46 PM
Hi Tellyjelly,
What is the ransom that Ianm is demanding? I will try to help you out with it.
Posted by: Andy | 15 July 2008 at 03:25 PM
So “Its dyah two of me watchin the Big Brother hoose”. The Gallic theme is well under way and not a single case of Legionnaires disease to be seen (mores the pity), a Tour de Farce going nowhere and a wine taster that doesn't drink. Its grim...just grim...
As for Andy, remember why elephants have big ears ?
Tao of TV: Too many cooks make a TV show.
Posted by: ianm | 17 July 2008 at 12:31 AM
Noddy will happily pay the ransom if it will keep Ianm from sharing his thoughts!
Posted by: Andy | 17 July 2008 at 12:16 PM
Hi Tellyjelly,
I was very pleased to see that some annoying sofa ads have been banned!!! Surely everyone must have got their sofas for this year's New Sofa Day aka Christmas, anyway? Looks like we might all be able to enjoy a Sofa-ad free Christmas now, and only have to dread the holiday ads now.
Posted by: Andy | 03 December 2008 at 12:35 PM
Sofa so good.
Posted by: ihearditthroughthetimvine | 05 December 2008 at 10:34 PM
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year TJ and all Telly Jelly contributors.
Posted by: thevoiceofthemysterons | 24 December 2008 at 03:13 PM
Andy - Just seen the my first holiday ad. To the capital of Cuba. Are they Havana laugh?
Posted by: ihearditthroughthetimvine | 24 December 2008 at 03:14 PM
My TV highlight of 2008 was Richard And Judy moving to Watch, which means I can't.
My TV disappointment of 2008 was switching on Channel 4 for The Devils Whore only to discover it wasn't about Margaret Thatcher.
Posted by: thevoiceofthemysterons | 05 January 2009 at 12:15 PM
Yes, it is all too much to bear... not only are we subjected to the usual holiday ads, but the sofa ads have had a reprieve. No wonder they are still trying to sell them, they are so big it is unlikely that many of us have houses big enough for them. Oh well, at least we can now enjoy a creme egg or two and feel relaxed in the knowledge that if we didn't quite manage to get that sofa for Chrismas, then if we hurry there is still time to get it delivered before Easter. Nevertheless, wouldn't Telljelly agree that it has been a promising start to the year for viewing, what with Anne Frank's diary; Celebrity Big Brother; and Dancing on Ice set to return? Maybe we can all put up with a few more sofa ads, especially as Foxy Bingo seems to have got the chop.
Posted by: Andy | 08 January 2009 at 03:29 PM
The epiphany hasn't yet worked its magic this year so still feeling a tad pessimistic about t.v. I know the ending of Anne Frank's Diary (it isn't happy) and I've even started missing Foxy. Might buy a sofa to cheer myself up.
Posted by: Tellyjelly | 08 January 2009 at 03:35 PM
What is Tellyjelly's take on the new Countdown team, to start on Monday? Has Ianm ordered so many sofas he can't see over them to watch Celebrity Big Brother?
Posted by: Andy | 08 January 2009 at 05:22 PM
Just when I thought it was safe to watch a spot of reality tv, all set for the new series of "Dancing on Ice"... more sofa ads!!
Posted by: Andy | 12 January 2009 at 12:17 PM
Oh, how I cried at Tyrone and Mollys wedding! If only Vera could have been there!
Posted by: brian caine | 15 January 2009 at 10:19 AM
How is it that programmes which claim to boost the confidence of women can only do it by cajoling them to take their clothes off?
"Ooh I haven't got the confidence to get a better job or to insist on equal pay at work, but I can get my tits out for complete strangers through the power of Gok Wan Do the Chinese martial art of humiliating women on national telly."
Posted by: thevoiceofthemysterons | 03 February 2009 at 11:16 AM
NOT GOING OUT fri 6th feb
alright, i missed last weeks episode (richard said it wasn't that good anyway) but, i did catch last night's show and laughed like a drain! pure farce! i was waiting for the vicar to jump out of the wardrobe without his trousers and a girl to run across the screen in just her knickers, but that might be next week!
Posted by: brian | 07 February 2009 at 12:08 PM
Hurrah - Foxy is back and improved his dance moves - getting down with the girls!! Suited and booted a true John Travolta of the animal world.
Posted by: Belinda-no-mates | 08 February 2009 at 05:12 PM
Not Going Out fri 13 feb
I thought it couldn't go any lower - but it did! Even my cat didn't laugh once - and she nearly wet herself seeing Shirley's double climb over the wall in Peggy Mitchell's spare wig!
Posted by: brian | 17 February 2009 at 06:04 PM
From Not Going Out Fri 13th
"I've got a friend who is a dipstick lesbian.
Don't you mean a lipstick lesbian?
No she's a mechanic."
How funny do you want it to be Brian? (not from the programme)
Posted by: ihearditthroughthetimvine | 18 February 2009 at 08:38 PM
Yes, I totally agree with Belinda-no-mates. Fantastic to hear Foxy is still going strong.
Posted by: Burlington Bertie | 25 February 2009 at 09:24 PM
Line of the year
Blanche: "Nasty gash!"
Now being used by everyone to mean disdain, horror or well, just about everything!
Blanche, we love you!
Posted by: brian | 11 March 2009 at 10:41 AM
I really enjoyed last nights Corrie, where Becky got very drunk, kicked open the door and dragged poor Roy down the aisle to the theme from Bonnie + Clyde!
I only wish Blanche (My Goddess) could have been there!
Posted by: brian | 14 March 2009 at 12:17 PM
Am I the only person in the entire world who thinks Blanche looks like David Frost?
Posted by: thevoiceofthemysterons | 18 March 2009 at 11:52 PM
I've just watched a one hour episode of the BBCs Yellowstone and not one mention Yogi Bear. I think they've made a boo boo there.
Posted by: ihearditthroughthetimvine | 25 March 2009 at 10:09 PM
Has anyone enjoyed Chris Moyles' show yet? Could they please let me know how and why it came to be shown, and why does he keep the guests in a plastic box - is it to keep them from escaping?
Posted by: brian caine | 30 March 2009 at 01:48 PM
reggie perrin ...WHY?
Should have left it alone. What's next? A new version of Rising Damp?
Posted by: brian caine | 25 April 2009 at 12:06 PM
THE SOAP AWARDS
is this what you call irony - Peter + Jorden giving the award for best couple ...
... also, where was Blanche? She should have at least been nominated for something!
Posted by: brian caine | 14 May 2009 at 10:49 AM
Come Dine With Me - Channel 4 - 8pm
The show was set in Bristol this week and we had a hair dresser serving sushi off a half-naked boy. I wouldn't recommend it - I tried it once with lasagne and chips and it made an awful mess and I was banned from Pizza Hut for life.
Posted by: brian caine | 18 May 2009 at 02:35 PM
That must have been the day I found a hare in my soup
Posted by: tellyjelly | 22 May 2009 at 01:18 PM
Here's an idea for the writers of Coronation Street:
Why not send Blanche onto Channel 4's Coach Trip, thus combining my two favorite things on tv.
Blanche could moan and gossip about everyone on the coach, and we could all admire the scenery.
Everyone wins!
Posted by: brian caine | 28 May 2009 at 10:48 AM
Hi Tellyjelly,
Relishing the thought of Ibiza.
How good was Britain's Got Talent tonight? Not loving Foxy keeping cropping up in the breaks, though!
Posted by: Andy | 28 May 2009 at 10:31 PM
Benidorm - Sunday 31st May
I think I should see a doctor ...
I'm becoming besotted with foul-mouthed old ladies. First there was Corrie's Blanche and now ... Madge! I love her!
Is it healthy/normal for a 28 year old man to have these feelings?
Posted by: brian caine | 01 June 2009 at 10:28 AM
Congratulations to the last contributor (Bri) for sending in the 100th Tellyjelly comment. Well done. Given your age, you should enjoy the prize of an 18-30 two week holiday at a European destination of your choice.
Posted by: Tellyjelly | 01 June 2009 at 11:47 AM
So, no comments yet about Big Brother ...?
Well, I shalll start the ball rolling!
What about that Angel? She looked like the Child Catcher in Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang!
Posted by: brian | 05 June 2009 at 11:34 AM
Angel reminds me of Willy Wonka. Is she the scariest housemate yet? If I had to sleep in the same room as her I'd be too frightened to go to sleep and I wouldn't eat anything that she's cooked. They'll sleep a lot better in Russia for the next few weeks.
Posted by: thevoiceofthemysterons | 06 June 2009 at 03:52 PM
Hurray, Only Connect is back. I can now throw away the sleeping tablets.
Posted by: thevoiceofthemysterons | 04 August 2009 at 08:29 PM
Watched Electric Dreams on bbc190 or something where a family live with the technology of 1989. Just as the father concludes that 1989 technology was rubbish the picture on my digital TV broke up. At least in 1989 we had control over whether it worked or not, now I lose my TV signal whenever a wren flies between the satellite and my TV aerial or when Neptune, Saturn, Mercury and the spaceship out of Alien are aligned.
Posted by: thevoiceofthemysterons | 06 October 2009 at 10:44 PM
Eastenders 6th October
Can anyone tell me why Sam + Ricky turned up wearing matching straitjackets half way through last night's show? And why didn't they get one for poor Stacey...?
Posted by: brian caine | 07 October 2009 at 11:04 AM
Come Dine With Me - Sunday 7th November
Another classic show!
One contestant decided she hated everyone else (I agreed!) and had too much to drink and livened things up by putting her pet snake on the table where it pooped everywhere! Another guest served squirrel pie which promted someone to comment that things had gotten pretty bad when road-kill was served up for a main course!
They all agreed never to meet up again
Posted by: brian caine | 11 November 2009 at 01:04 PM
My Poor Blanche
I was heartbroken to hear the news that Maggie Jones who played my beloved Blanche for so many years has sadly passed away.
No one can replace her.
Posted by: brian | 04 December 2009 at 12:07 PM
Eastenders 17 December
Was that a stunt double blowing flames or did Aunt Sal have a change of wig?
And who can believe Ramon Tikeram as a father! Last time i saw him was in This Life 10 years ago doing something rude to a man in a kilt!
Posted by: brian | 18 December 2009 at 10:36 AM
A Merry Christmas to all you dear Tellyjelly readers.
I wish you peace and love in 2010.
brian
Posted by: brian | 18 December 2009 at 10:40 AM
I see Bobby Ball is to play Lee Mack's father in the Christmas edition of Not Going Out, but there is no Tommy Cannon. Has he been fired?
Posted by: ihearditthroughthetimvine | 18 December 2009 at 10:11 PM